Take nine-Early Autmn-ReDefined.

Early Autmn- REDEFINED.
Major Characters: (Protagonists)
Bill Jr-The son of Mary.(Mary,named her son after her first love,Bill)
Jane- The Daughter of Bill (The ex love of Mary)
Charles- Bill Jr.’s and Janes’s son.
The Villains-(Antagonists)
Elizabeth Bennet.
Mr.Darcy.
Posthumus.
Imogen.
Supporting Characters:
Mary and Bill.
The Probot.

PIECE OF ADVICE: If you have read the short story,’Early Autmn’ by Langston Hughes,you’ll know how funny this is.Also you need to know about the short story ‘Charles’ written by Shirley Jackson and another short story ‘The Gift of the Magi’ written by O.Henry.And you also should be knowing about Pride and Prejudice written by Miss Jane Austen and also a little about Shakespeares play Cymbeline..There are other references in this story as well,but they are not AS important as the others.This story is dedicated to the English Literature Class of ’10 (dcw)

They met in their school and instantly fell in love with each other.When Bill Jr. told about Jane to his mother,her mother was delighted!She immediately wanted to meet her.Janes parents felt the same way when she had told them about Bill Jr.
When both set of Parents got to know who they REALLY were,they instantly rejected the idea of their kids getting married to each other because Jane was Marys, first loves, Bills daughter and when Bill got to know who Bill jr. was he wasn’t too encouraging either.He told his daughter how Bill Jr’s Mother had once broken her heart, Jane felt sympathy for her father,but she was in love. And all’s fair in love and war.
Despite,of their parents not agreeing to their marriage, they decided to elope to Las Vegas.
When the Parents got to know, what their kids had done to them, they were broken.
Since Jane and Bill Jr,both were still young,they couldn’t get a good job,so they were very poor.Bill Jr.somehow managed to get a job at a local Casino while Jane stayed at home and did the household work. They both loved each other despite the poverty.Soon,it was Christmas time and the young couple did not have money to buy each other a present.But the love they had for each other was so grand and pure that it conquered everything.Jane sold off her shoes for 8 $’s and Bill Jr. cut of his moustache and sold it off for 10 $’s.The shoes and the mousctache were the BIGGEST treasures of this poor little couple.
Anyhooo,Jane bought her beloved a golden wristband and Bill Jr. bought her darling little sequined hair clips.They loved each others gifts.And Christmas passed like that.After 2 years,Jane conceived their first kid,a baby boy,named Charles Bill Jr. Charles,was a handful!He was AWFULLY FRESH. The new parents loved their kid,and wanted to give him everything.How time flies soo fast..little Charles was almost 5 years old and was even more fresh than ever.He used to drive his parents crazy and used to call them ‘dumb’. Charles saw a Probot,which he REALLY wanted to,but the Probot was expensive.But Bill Jr. wanted to give his son everything,so they started saving money for it and when they were finally able to save enough money,they bought the Probot,but by that time,Charles was over the Probot mania.SO the Probot ended up being a huge waste. But Jane,became best friends with the Probot and it did a lot of house hold chores for Jane.Jane was ever so-relieved.
It was the 7th year of their marriage.They enjoyed a happy married life.But who knew,this happiness would be soon ruined? All good things must come to an end.Sigh.
Meanwhile on the other side of the globe,another love story was going through a rough patch.Miss Elizabeth Bennet was not at all satisfied with her boy friend Mr.Darcy. Mr .Darcy turned out to be a PROUD FLIRT which made Eliza even more PREJUDICED than ever.She ran away from Pemberly all the way to Las Vegas.There she met Bill Jr.And Bill was smitten by this beautiful ladys intelligence.They started spending a lot of time together,and before they knew it,they were in love.
Jane got a little suspicious about her husbands behavior.He seemed a little distant and she asked him the reason,but he didn’t give her any.Mr. Darcy somehow got to know about Eliza’s affair with Bill Jr and he decided to write a letter to Jane telling her what was going on.Mr.Darcy also wrote that he would be delighted if Jane would visit him at Pemberly.When Jane found out about her husbands secret affair,she didn’t even bother confronting him.She took Charles with her,and disguised herself as a boy and got herself smuggled into a ship making its voyage to England.
She was heart broken.Once again,the advice given to her by her father,about how Bills mother had broken HIS heart,rang true in her ears.She was soo immersed in the thoughts that she didn’t notice that Charles,her son( the one who was awfully fresh,yeah) was missing!!She looked here and there,but it
seemed as if somebody had kidnapped her dear child and had abandoned the ship.
Heres what happened, Charles was very naughty,when he noticed how lost his mother was he got bored to tears so he wandered on to the deck of the ship,where he was kidnapped by a strong man,who later was joined by a beautiful woman.And they put little Charles in a sack,and threw him on to a little boat and they themselves got on to the boat.They introduced themselves as Posthumus and Imogen.They were husband and wife,but they did not have any child.SO they decided to kidnap Charles and adopt him as their son.Charles was super excited about this new adventure.
On the other hand,Jane was soo shocked by the rapid events happening in her life that she lost all sense of time.Soon enough,she reached Pemberly.Mr.Darcy was waiting for her at the station,when he found her so bewildered he asked her what had happened to her.Jane explained everything to Mr.Darcy. Mr.Darcy was very kind with her and he took her to her house and offered her temporary residence.Jane was very glad.
As time passed,Darcy found Jane to be really interesting.He even declared her as ‘handsome enough to tempt me’.Jane was thrilled,Darcy was such a charming man,that she couldn’t resist falling in love with him.They spent hours playing chess,taking long walks along River Thames,drinking tea and eating crumpets,discussing political affairs etc.Darcy found Jane VERY intelligent.
On the other side,when Eliza got to know that Bill was already married and had a kid,she was disgusted with herself.Her good morals settled in and she started blaming herself for all the pain she had caused Jane,for destroying her home.She thought of Bill as a liar and a cheater,so she left him.Bill was in deep trouble,he tried to convince her that her wife and child are not even with her anymore,but Eliza did not listen and she did not see him ever again.
Bill did not know what to do. Jane was now very happy with her life,Darcy married her and they started a new life.Jane often wondered about her ex husband but she used to dismiss this thought as soon as it came into her mind.From now on,Darcy was the centre of her attention.
During all this,Charles had grown up into a young man of 19 years old.He was working for the military.Posthumus and Imogen took great care of him,but they did not like Charles’s love interest,Lydia,who had quite a reputation for being a flirtatious woman.But Charles wanted to marry her,as soon as the parents found out about their childs decision,they sent for Lydia and got her be headed.Charles couldn’t bear this pain,so he became insane and during one of his fits of insanity,he ended up killing both his parents.
He left his job as an Army officer and begin to write weird,neurotic stories which became very famous.One of his stories called ‘The Dreamy Child’ became as instant hit across the globe.And somehow Jane read the story,her motherly instinct told her that this was her Charles.She went out to see him in person,with Darcy’s permission.Once she was given the green signal,she set out.When she finally reached Charles’s house,Charles threatened to kill her,he was having one of his isanity fits.Jane got so scared.She ran away.
Somehow,she had the impulse to go visit her old home at Beach Road.She was half afraid that she would run into Bill ,but she decided to go anyway.When she reached Beach Road,she saw there was some kind of protest going on. She also saw a poor,old man at one end of the corner,who kept on repeating ‘Look up,look down,look at my thumb,Gee,you’re dumb!’.Somehow he seemed very familiar to Jane.It took her only a moment to realize who it was.It was Bill Jr!!
She walked upto him so that she could have a closer look to see if her guess were right.It was.
Bill looked up at Jane,all dressed up in fine clothes and jewels.Bill Jr. looked like an entirely different person,he had grown a beard and because of his excessive drinking problem,he looked twice his age.Jane’s heart went out to him.But she was very angry at him as well.She gave the poor man some money, they talked for a while,Jane told him about Darcy and Pemberly,she told him how Charles had been kidnapped and how now he was a complete maniac.Bill told her about how he was abandoned by Eliza he was about to ask for Janes number but at THE EXACT SAME TIME (YES INCLUDING THE MINUTES AND THE SECONDS AS WELL!)Janes’s driver came up to her and told her that it was time for her to go.Jane,stood up,threw her Gucci bag on her shoulder,and strolled away.Bill just stared,he shouted GOOD BYE very loudly,but Jane had her i-pod switched on so she couldn’t really hear him.She sat in her Ferrari and drove away.The roar of the engine blew away the leaves of the orange maple trees, which had fallen on the ground because of the Autmn Season.
The End.

Take eight-Bloody Marry Frandshapper.

Yo yoo This is the Queen of The Frandshapness
Yo,everybody with me,come on,
Babyyy ur soo bloody,
soo bloody, soo bloody,
baby ur so bloody but ur frandshapness is worthy,
is worthy,is worthyyy
*aoooo*

Explanation:
Queen Bloody Marry Frandshapper,is known all over the world for her mercilessness-ness when it comes to making new frands and then slaying them afterwards.
This particular stanza has been written by the great Poetess of the Bloody Frandhappean Era,Lady Yummypeare.Lady Yummypeare,has written several poems and sonnets and even has a collection of 800 plus short stories which are read by people all over the world.She is a highly remarkable,self assured writer and a poet.She believed in the simplicity of things.The best part about her works is that she doesn't talk about Death or diseases at all.
According to some highly famous anonymous Critic
'Lady Yummypeare is a woman of words.Never have I read such nonsense which touched the heart of anyone who read it.She,undoubtedly,will make a mark in Modern Literature'.

the devices used in this particular stanza will be explained in the next blog. :p

-Take seven-Poor People.

I've been going out for shopping for the last 2 days,with my sisters.I had been very busy thats why I havent written here in a while.
But Fear no more the heat of the Sun (lol),I am back. :)
It was a weird experience.I feel really sad when these poor people come begging to you to give them money because they badly need it.I met this lady the other day,she was with her 2 kids and she was selling Markers,each for 20 rs,she needed the money badly as her daughter had got burnt severly.And she needed to buy the medicines.I felt soooo bad.Soo bad that no words could ever describe what amount of pity and smypathy and God knows what I felt for her.
Instantly,it made me think,if God forbid,I were in her shoes,what would I do?Seeing her selling markers,with her 2 kids tagged along,desperately calling out for help,it just made me loathe myself.I mean,just look at her spirit.I guess thats what a mothers love is supposed to be like.I hated myself for spending so much time worrying and detesting and thnking about such minute things,when there are bigger and greater things to get worried about.I have everything which a person could ask for and more.But still there is no end to my complaining.Althought,I don't complain much,but still whenever I do,I hate myself for it.I am thankful to God for whatever he has given me.After all,he knows best.He knows everything.But at times,when I crib about things,afterwards I feel like such a loser.
Poor people,like the lady I saw yesterday,is and SHOULD be an inspiration to all of us people out there who cannot worry about anything else except what clothes to wear,what shoes to buy,whom to meet,where to go.Seriously,we ALL need a reality check.We should,by now,know the value of things and should be greatful to Allah for whatever he has given us,for all the prayers he has answered and for the inumerous blessings he has bestowed upon us.
May God,show us all the right way to tread upon and save us from the evils of the society,may He continue to look after us and help us as there is no greater help than His.Ameen.

Take six-Getting late

I don't know why,whenever I get even 5 minutes late in the morning,I end up freaking out.I think that i'll be the one,the college people won't let in,they'll say nasty things to me like 'Jaldi utha karay,jaldi yey kia karein,jaldi woh kia karein'They'll lock the gates on my face and leave me out there.Well,'leaving me out there' is not really a problem since my driver would STILL be standing there and I COULD come back home.But still,it would be pretty embarrassing.Speaking of my driver,he gets soooo anooying.Today,he showed up 15 minutes late and I thought he wasnt going to come,I was standing near the car and he could see me but he still was walking so slowly,I mean if he can see me,and he knows that we're late couldnt he just,um,I dont know ,WALK FASTER??!! :@ :@ I WAS SO PISSE OFF.But of course I didn't say anything to him.Stuff and bother.
College was such a drag today,except for our regular acts of lameness.We even came up with a stupid,yet,hillarious act of the 'jadu walay baba jee' hahhahah.Loved it.Such creative minds,i tell you.Our Mass C teacher decided not to come again.And we sat for five periods in one spot and when we stood up we couldn't even walk properly!! :@
Okay,so im sitting in my brothers room and his computer is near the window and apparently some driver is listening to songs in his car.And my Mother dearest is sitting behind me sipping tea.How exquisite.lol hahaha.

-Take five-Weird Campaign songs.

Lets get right to it,if i were to stand in an election and I had to come up with a song,i wonder what tune and words would I be using?Hmm...lets see the options.
Option number A : Tune of dana pey dana and the wordings could be like 'Oh Yumna pey thappa ,oh baba,thappay pey thappa,oh baba Yumna pey thappa,kisi aur ko vote mat deyna,oh baba,vote mat deyna,deyna toh deyna,siruf Yumna ko deyna' hahahahah

Option number B : Tune of Sajjad Ali's Cinderella.The wordings would be like 'Aey vote deyna,vote deyna,siruf Yumna ko vote deynaaaa,vote deyna,oh vote deyna,siruf Yumna ko vote deyna,siruf usi ko he deyna,kisi aur ko mat deyna,bus woh he eik hey,jisko tum he vote deyna'.

Option C : Tune of Billo dey Ghar by Abrar-ul-haq and the wordings would be like 'Asan tey deyna Yumna nu vote,Asan tey deyna Yumna nu vote,kinaay kinaay deyna Yumna nu vote?Tik tik taooo laaine (line) banaoo,tik tik tao lane banao!!Asan tey deyna Yumna nu Vote'

Option D : Tune of Panna ki tamna hey from the old old movie Heera Panna and the wordings would be like ' Panna ki tamna hey k Yumna ko vote milll jayeeee,chahay meri naukri jaye,chahay meri gari jaye,lekin Yumna ko vote mil jaye'

OhMyGod.Im so totally able to run for the elections :p

Take four-Bad Habits.

Today,in college,during one of our classes our teacher asked us,to tell one or maybe two of our bad habits.I,on the other hand,provided her a long list of bad (more like,annoying) HABITS of mine.Some of them are :
Bad Habit number 1-Playing with my hair.Searching for split ends,and i've been told NOT to do this,at least not publically,as it comes across totally repulsive to some people.I don't know HOW it's repulsive its not like IM EATING me hair.THAT,would've been disgusting.

Bad Habit Number 2-Clapping a little too much everytime I laugh.Yes,it CAN get annoying.

Bad Habit number 3-Chewing the back of a Pen.Mind you,I DO NOT chew on pencils.The lead tastes really bad,I know what your'e thinking,yes, I HAVE tried it,I didn't like it,so now i just restrict my chewing to Pens.Only.It's particularly more weird when your'e chewing on SOMEONE ELSE'S BORROWED pen.Personally,I can't imagine someone asking for my pen and then I catch that someone CHEWING ON IT.I mean,how many other ways can u say eewww?

Bad Habit Number 4: Saying 'like you know' too much.

Bad Habit Number 5: Saying 'I know' too much lol hahaha

Bad Habit Number 6 :Talking too much and way too loudly.It CAN get on other peoples nerves.

Bad Habit Number 7 :Scribbling in notebooks,books,journals,on every other possible piece of paper and er..sometimes on walls too.

Bad Habit Number 8 :I don't chew nails or nail polish.Thank Goodnes.I tend to tilt my face at a certain angle everytime I get my picture taken.Yes,it's very obvious if your'e on my fb and if you've seen the pictures over there.

Bad Habit Number 9 : I roll my eyes a lot.

Bad Habit Number 10 : No,this is not the winner of this list,don't get excited thinking i'd write something silly (and yucky) like picking my nose in public.EWWWWWWW.Get away from me!The bad habit number 10 is that I check my phone after every 2 minutes.I wish I could just stop doing that!!!

Okay,so those of you who are reading this,please leave a comment telling me about YOUR bad habits.Don't worry,if they are too embarassing,they are absolutely safe on such a public place like blogger :p haha.

Take four-Bad Habits.

Today,in college,during one of our classes our teacher asked us,to tell one or maybe two of our bad habits.I,on the other hand,provided her a long list of bad (more like,annoying) HABITS of mine.Some of them are :
Bad Habit number 1-Playing with my hair.Searching for split ends,and i've been told NOT to do this,at least not publically,as it comes across totally repulsive to some people.I don't know HOW it's repulsive its not like IM EATING me hair.THAT,would've been disgusting.

Bad Habit Number 2-Clapping a little too much everytime I laugh.Yes,it CAN get annoying.

Bad Habit number 3-Chewing the back of a Pen.Mind you,I DO NOT chew on pencils.The lead tastes really bad,I know what your'e thinking,yes, I HAVE tried it,I didn't like it,so now i just restrict my chewing to Pens.Only.It's particularly more weird when your'e chewing on SOMEONE ELSE'S BORROWED pen.Personally,I can't imagine someone asking for my pen and then I catch that someone CHEWING ON IT.I mean,how many other ways can u say eewww?

Bad Habit Number 4: Saying 'like you know' too much.

Bad Habit Number 5: Saying 'I know' too much lol hahaha

Bad Habit Number 6 :Talking too much and way too loudly.It CAN get on other peoples nerves.

Bad Habit Number 7 :Scribbling in notebooks,books,journals,on every other possible piece of paper and er..sometimes on walls too.

Bad Habit Number 8 :I don't chew nails or nail polish.Thank Goodnes.I tend to tilt my face at a certain angle everytime I get my picture taken.Yes,it's very obvious if your'e on my fb and if you've seen the pictures over there.

Bad Habit Number 9 : I roll my eyes a lot.

Bad Habit Number 10 : No,this is not the winner of this list,don't get excited thinking i'd write something silly (and yucky) like picking my nose in public.EWWWWWWW.Get away from me!The bad habit number 10 is that I check my phone after every 2 minutes.I wish I could just stop doing that!!!

Okay,so those of you who are reading this,please leave a comment telling me about YOUR bad habits.Don't worry,if they are too embarassing,they are absolutely safe on such a public place like blogger :p haha.

Take Three-The Twa Corbies.

For those of you who are as lost as a cat in a shopping mall,let me tell u what 'Twa Corbies' is.Basically,it's a poem,the poet is anoynmous.It's a rather disgusting poem because it involves two crows who are palnning to feast on this dead knight,who happens to lay dead in the middle of nowhere,abandoned by his beloved (So much for 'staying ng true to your love' :p),the beloved ,im guessing ,was some kind a of a reallly,um,how should I say this...a very 'trampy' person who couldn't just WAIT to move on with her life,she should've at least made some arrangements for the Knight to be burried or something,after all,she DID date him at some point.Huh.
The other two companinons of the Knight were,a hawk and a Dog.They too leave the knight to rott to death.Sheesh.Im guessing,the knight was a complete self-obsessed man thats why the minute he was dead,his companions just couldn't wait to get rid of him.He must've been really mean to them at some point.Or maybe not.Well,theres always the benefit of doubt.
I have done poetry (like serious poetry,yeah) in my second year and the funny thing about doing poetry (again) in my 3rd year is the fact that ALL OF THE POEMS SEEM TO BE EITHER TALKING ABOUT THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
A: Death.Death.And,you guessed it,DEATH.It's like the poets didn't have anything else to talk about.Why couldn't they have written about life instead?Nooo sireee,they just go on bragging about how death is a leveller,about how death can't be defeated or about how I can't wait for death.God.

B : Diseasses.Okay,this isn't helping.Seriously.

C: Arrogance,pride.Hmm.Nope.

D: The Beloved ,who in ShakesP's case was a MAN!!(GOOD LORD!!) The Earl of South Hampton.What is this?

I guess,way back in their time,they didn't have much to write about except diseasses and diseasses leading to death.Overall the poems were very depressing.They should not be taught to teenagers like us.As if,we don't have enough things to get worried about,now we have to worry about this too?That is JUST great.

-Take two-Action.

Okay,so now that I have FINALLY ( I should seriously stop saying 'finally') put up my own blog,the next mission is,what to WRITE in it.I can't decide what it should be about,so because of that I decided I should write whatever comes in my mind and the rest is,as we say,history :p
Okay,so whatever it is,that Ive to write here,I have to do it quickly cuz the lights about to go in exactly 12-13 minutes. AAAHHHHHHH. The 'bright' (lol) side to this load shadding or shedding (whatever) is,that at least the timings are fixed.
Anyhooooooo,Tehnu has been a huge help today,thankyou Tehnu.You're a pal :p And I know that my sisters are reading this too.SO its day two and I have at least 3 people,good good. ha ha at this rate,I'll end up having at least SOME followers :p Kheir,I will think more about what I should be writing over here.I think i'll write about how cool it is to be me something equally self-loveable like this ha ha J/k

P:S I should stop this whole self love thing going on,it used to be funny once,now the joke is definetly wearing out.Yumna Sadiq,it is not cute anymore,it used to be when you were in grade 6.Now,it just annoys people.lol

-Yumnainwonderland-Take one.

Okay.SO,after months and months and months of just THINKING of setting up my own blog,I have finally,finally, set it up.And I don't know if anyone is even going to be reading this,but wth? lol I just wanted to do it,so here I am :) .

Yumnainwonderland,is my blog where i'll be posting all sorts of weird,random,funny things and will be narrating episodes of my own life (duh,who else's,you dummy!)which I know,will not make any sense later.But hey,who said Life always has to make sense?NO ONE!SOO SHHH!

I don't know why im getting so excited about this.I hope it's not as addictive as Farmville.Or Facebook itself.SO here's to a new beginning. <3