Thursday, October 21, 2010

-Take fifty two- FrandShap anyone?

Where are all the frandshappers?

Is it me, or have most of the frandshappers turned over a new leaf and are now really normal people? I dunno but I’ve noticed –thanks to my extra ordinary stalking skills- that there are very few frandshappers left in this world. Oh goody! SO what could be the reason? Where are they? What are they upto? Are they now listed as endangered animals? Are they abducted by Aliens? Has Dora kidnapped them? Have they all gone to a private frandshap island? WHERE ARE THEY? I don’t know, but I sure can think of a few reasons why we see less frandshappers today, as compared to the good ol’ orkut days. Here we go.

Reason No. 1 :
They decided to get a life. Really. Remember how these frandshappers used to write on your walls ( if it’s not set to private-or you were too dumb to notice that you could set your wall as a private setting until you were hit by a brick) and before writing on the walls they used to write in our ‘scrapbook’ (orkut didn’t have a wall). They used to write all types of weird things since you could not set your scrapbook as private(at that time,you couldn’t,I don’t know about now) . They used to write weird things like ‘H3y I l!k3 your DpPzz.H0lL@ b@cKsz aT m3’ or they used to write their cell phone numbers c@ll me ,mY numb3rs is 03322783653 I w3ll w@itz (this is a fictional number.I really hope you actually don’t call at this number,expecting someone to answer it, cuz if you are or you're planning too, it’s not the frandshappers who need to get a life,it’s you who needs it. ) SO prolly the frandshappers thought that they should stop acting so ‘chipku’ maybe the girls would come knocking at their doors ,asking for their number. Ha! Nah,I’m just kidding. They won’t. Sorry.

Reason Number 2:
Maybe they saw/read how everyone started writing in their profiles, esp in the about-me sections that p3opl3 WhH0 tyPP3 l!k3 Th!s shOul)d nN0T @@dD m3h. Maybe they got scared.

Reason Number 3 :
Maybe they liked a girl. And the girl told that frandshapper that dude,look,you are not going to get a girl with John Abrahams picture as your profile. Really. We know, it’s not you. We know. You don’t. When will you learn that nobody wants to H!tT y3w B@cKs-Maybe literally,they would- but really, stop already. And so ditched by the qU33N 0F th3Yr (their –hahah) dR3e@mszz they thought ‘ bus. Ab toh waqaie kuch kerna paray ga!’.

Reason Number 4:

They got tired of everyone making fun of them. They have a heart too. So, let down by the anti-frandhshap movement, they decided to change their dp’s from John Abrahams,Britney Spears, Weird Cars,Plants, Tigers etc to pictures of weird emo boys and girls crying their eyes out, with black mascara running down their face. The msg was loud and clear : St0P !Tt w3 L0V3s t0o we J@ast w@NNazz m@k3 Fr!endSxz’. And this is why facebook introduced the ‘BLOCK THIS CRAZY PERSON FOREVER’ Option.

Reason 5 :
The figured (finally!) that tYp3Ing l!k3 tH!s, not only makes you look retarded but also takes double the time. Time is money, baby, time is money.

Reason 6:
Awareness. They dare to be aware!and so they came to know, that putting too many ‘x’s and y’s and z’s’ after every word (LOLXXX or YYYYX? or LOLZZzzZZ) will not get you friends. You have to have a virtual personality man. A virtual personality which does not involve
A: Dp’s of people who aren't you.
B: Your about me should include original stuff not stick figures made out of ‘/’s’
C: No lame ‘shairi’ like Barishon k mausam main tumhe yaad karne ki aadtein purani hain,Ab ki baar socha haipurani aadtein badal dalein ,Lekin phir khayal aaya…aadtein badalne sebarishein nahi rukti….

Nah. I’m just kidding. I was really,super bored so I came up with this random entry. Virtual personality-I can’t believe I just said that. No, I’m all for individuality and originality and if you think TyP1Ng l!k3 th!s is what defines you,then go for it. Who knows? Maybe someone WILL think you’re cool. And hey, if writing cheap stuff is what you really are, then okay, be it. At least you won’t be faking it! JuSt D00oo !Ttszz!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

-Take Fifty One- Crazy Commercials.

If you watch lots of tv, you know how annoying they can get. But I was wondering, how annoying these advertisements are in themselves! Like how they just seem to go on and on and on about their products. Well, okay the prime purpose for these Ads is to go on and on about the products they are showcasing, but who writes the story lines for them? With the exception of a few,most Ads appear senseless and they leave you thinking- ‘Hey, would someone tell me what was that about?’ Or ‘Okay. Am I crazy or did this ad did not make any sense at all? ‘ following are a few ads which I find downright funny and totally ridiculous.

Who remembers that Ad about cigarettes, where a couple of hikers, go through a really treacherous path and face lots of difficulties and FINALLY reach the top of the mountain. I thought, after almost risking their lives, they would celebrate that they have reached their destination, but not really. Instead, one of them guys, pulls out a pack of ciggs and is like ‘Dudes,lets smoke!’. I mean,this isn’t exactly what he says duh. If someone re-calls this add please do comment telling me what brand of cigs it was.

Okay. This one is really popular. Fair and Lovely. In this ad there’s this ‘kaali c larki’ who’s Mother is a make up artist. She is apparently not very old, but the Actress whos make up she’s supposed to be doing,is a real snob and she tells the make up wali aunty k ‘saye sey make up ni kar sakti toh ghar baitho’ and make up artist’s kaali masoom daughter,over hears this and cries and whines to her Mother saying that she (the mother) makes all the other girls looks beautiful while she ( the kaali girl) is so ugly! And ta-da! The Mom pulls out a FairnLovely ki tube and the girl uses it and ta-da! She’s if FAIR AND LOVELY. SO FAIR AND LOVELY that she becomes this hot super actress and wins an award and in the award ceremony there is the same snobby actress (who previously told the Mother to go get a life) but our fairnlovely girl says how her mother helped her in becoming so fair and lovely. Ummm… Okaaaay.

Another Fairness Cream Ad.The ad starts with this kaali girl,who has a very dark face,ONLY,while her arms are very fair.Hmm.Perhaps,too much time in the Sun? She has lots of pimples on her face and she goes for bowling. There are a couple of guys there too who completely ignore her and the girl faces a terrible shock to her self esteem. ‘Ab taq thi yey khali kyukay skin thi iski kaali,creamay lagati thi jaali,ab apni manzil hey isnay paali’ and the manzil here is the ‘Skin White Cream’. She uses it and SUDDENLY she becomes reaaalllyyy fair. And she goes to this Shadi ka function and as soon as she enters, all the men in the hall stop and stare at her. I’m sure she must be feeling really nice with all the men looking at her. Riiiighhhhttt. But wait!That’s not it! The funniest part is that the minute she enters in the Shadi Hall,she starts to dance. Okay. So this Skin W Cream can make you put Michael Jackson to shame as well, with all your killers dance moves and all. And on her way out, she see’s another girl who is very dark and she hands her ‘secret’ ( hahah) to her.

Another Ad. WaterMelo( or something close) Ice cream. Omg has anyone seen it ? Okay,so there is this weird looking guy with a huge watermelon infront of him and then he pulls some weird jackie chan stunt and spilts the watermelon in half. Somehow that watermelon turns into an ice cream( ihavenoooideahowthathappened) and he eats the ice cream as if it’s the best thing on earth.Right.

Okay.Another Ad. QuickCool Powder. The majorly annoying character of the entire add is the little kid who sits on his bicycle and from every other corner in the house, he emerges saying ‘QuickCool QuickCool’. This add stars this big family. A Grandma who is kinitting something and out comes the GrandPa asking ‘ Aray Bhai,kisi ney merey chashmay daikay hein?’ For some reason, the Grandma gets offended and she says in a haughty tone ‘ Humay kia pata!’ and the little kid comes on his bicycle chanting ‘ quickcool quickcool’. Then in the other corner of the house we have a brother and a sister who are fighting over something and then again comes the little kid on his bicycle chanting ‘Quickcool quickcool’. Then in the Kitchen we have the Mother of the little kid who is cooking food and all this work makes her really exhausted and then comes the Father, tired from a long day at work,he says something which I don’t remember and the Wife replies ( I don’t remember that either) something not very affectionate which pisses off the Husband more and AGAIN THE KIDS COMES ON HIS BICYCYCLE CHANTING QUICKCOOL QUICKCOOL! OMG KID!SHUTUPPP ALREADY!

SO,the next time when you have a fight with your friend, or you get a bad grade or the teachers yells at you just cuz she herself is having a bad day. Remember. Two Words. Only. QUICK COOL. QUICK COOL.