In my last post, I wrote some ways to get out of an awkward situation, now, I will write how to CREATE an awkward situation. Just follow the easy-breezy steps to make the other person feel awkward
STARE: This is a sure fire to make the other person feel extremely awkward. Just keep in mind, that when they catch you looking at them, DO NOT TURN AWAY. KEEP ON STARING. Consistency is the key, my friend. The wider your eyes are, the longer your stare, the more its effect.
PURPOSEFULLY LAUGH AT ALL TIMES: Even when the other person is not saying anything funny, just laugh. Not a light chuckle, but a loud, mean GUFFAW. Either you will make the other person feel as if he is the next Steve Martin or it will leave them feeling really awkward.
OBNOXIOUS CATCH PHRASE : I was once watching this comedy show on Tv and it had a man who said ‘ 3 bajay miliyay na’ after every 3 minutes and he was very annoying. So, next time you want to make someone feel awkward you say something like ‘You ain’t nothing but an idiot’ after every sentence like ‘ Yeah, so I went there and it was totally crowded ‘YOUAIN’TNOTHINGBUTANIDIOT’ and so I didn’t buy anything ‘YOUAIN’TNOTHINGBUTANIDIOT’ and just camebackhome‘YOUAIN’TNOTHINGBUTANIDIOT’.
USE CHEAP HINDI DIALOGUES: ‘Rishtay mey toh hum tumaray baap lagtay hein’ or ‘Raj. Raj Malhotra. Naam toh suna he hoga’ bus bhai, uskay baad awkwardness he awkwardness.
HAVE A CORNY SONG, SET AS YOUR RING TONE: ‘Dil ney yey kaha hey dil say, muhabat hogai hey tumsay,merey jaaaan merey dilbar yada yada’ OR ‘ Kaho na pyaaar hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, kaho na pyar haaaaaaaaayyyy’
PURPOSEFULLY CRACK A LAME JOKE : Yeah, crack a joke and make it so terrible that NOBODY feels like laughing. And then. You laugh like a hyena. It will leave your audience feeling awkward.
TALK ON YOUR CELL PHONE FOR LONG, UN-INTERRUPTED HOURS : Picture this, you’re talking to someone, face to face, your phone rings, you pick it up and then you don’t hang up. The only bad side is that after you hang up, you’ll realize that the friend who was actually sitting in front of you, is no longer there.
HOOT : Hooting is another superb way to make someone feel awkward. Don’t like it? Just Hoot. Like it? Just Hoot. Llike/hate it : Just Hoot.
SAY SOMETHING MEAN : You are Simon Cowell.' THAT WAS JUST PATHETIC' or 'That was terrible, I mean just awful'
HAVE A WEIRD LAUGH : The weirder your laugh, the more intense will be the awkwardness.