-Take sixty- Lyrics?

Have you noticed how some of the catchiest songs have the weirdest lyrics?Either they are too cheap,either they are downright cheesy or either they make no sense at all. Like, you just can’t get them out of your head and when you sing them out loud,you say to yourself ‘Wait.wth did I just say?’


EXHIBIT A:

Sajjad Ali’s song : Cinderella

Cinderella,Cinderella,mera inteyzar kerna,
Mey Rastay mey hu,
Bus aa rah u may,
Kisi aur ki dulhan na ban jana.HEY CINDERELLA!’


As far as I remember Cinderella just had one Prince Charming.And that WAS NOT SAJJAD ALI.So what is he going on about? Who is the other guy here? ‘Bus aa raha hu may’ seems a pretty casual way to stop your Cinderella from running off with someone else. With or without the glass slippers on.

This song was a huge hit when it came out.If you haven’t heard it, youtube Cinderella-Sajjad Ali.



EXHIBIT B :

Aahh…
White white face dheke dil woh beating fast sasura
Jaan se maare re
Oh very… oh very…
Oh very happy in my heart
Dil dance maare re
Very happy in my heart, dil dance maare re
Dil dance maare Dance maare..

                    Yes. I am just as confused as you are. Dil kaisay dance kerta hay? Maybe it dances like this ‘ heart beat step123 123, heart beat step 345 345’ And what is this about dancing ONLY when Dil see’s a WHITE FACE? WHAT A RACIST HEART!!


EXHIBIT C:

Another one of the EXTREMELY POPULAR songs of all time –Bolo Bolo tumnay kia daikha?Again by Sajjad Ali.

Meri Gari daikhi,Ya mera Bangla Daikha, Ya mere Sara Bank Balance Daikha,
Tumay apna kaha,tumay pyar diyaaa,lekin tum koi aur hooooo,
Tumay pyar mujhsey naye hey,pyar mujhsey naye hay,pyar mujhsey naye haaaaay,
Mey tumsey dur chala jaou ya pas chala aou, something something mujhsye naye haaaay.

    I’m sure you all remember Madonna’s song MATERIAL GIRL. I think Sajjad Ali was thinking of Madonna while writing this song since the girl is downright materialistic. Why else would she eye his gari or bangla or bank balance? Why was she not able to see Sajjad Ali’s true love?WHY?Sad. But if she were able to see his true love for her then prolly we wouldn’t be having such a great song.


EXHIBIT D:


Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho
Koi usko pilaane waali ho
Chaahe gori ho ya kaali ho
Seene se lagaane waali ho
Mil jaaye to mit jaaye arre hum
Tararum pum....

                                Word:Cheap  - Synonym: Anu Malik.
                               I like the fact that he says ‘chahy gori ho ya kali ho’ putting an end to the above ‘white white face daikhay’ racist comment (lol).



EXHIBIT E :

Personally,I think the following song,should be played at every Kindergarten,it’s a great ‘learn-how-to-spell-programme’. Even Barney the Purple Dino could and cannot come near to inventing such an extra-ordinary spelling-word-meaning-activity. It’s a really old song called C.A.T from Dilli ka Thug.

C.A.T. Cat, Cat Maane Billi, R.A.T. Rat, Rat Maane Choohaa

Arrey Dil Hai Tere Panje Mein To Kyaa Huaa

M.A.D. Mad, Mad Maane Paagal, B.O.Y. Boy, Boy Maane Ladkaa

(Arrey Matlab Iskaa Tum Kaho To Kyaa Huaa)

(Ari Baanvri Tu Ban Jaa Meri, Zaraa Sun Main Kyaa Kahtaa Hoon

Zaraa Dekh Idhar Tujhe Hai Khabar, Tu Hai Kaun Aur Main Kyaa Hoon) - 2

G.O.A.T. Goat, Goat Maane Bakri, L.I.O.N. Lion, Lion Maane Sher

Etc etc.



EXHIBIT  F:

SONG: AE KIA BOLTI TU-GHULAM


Ay Kya Bolti Tu
Ay Kya Main Boloon
Sun
Suna
Aati Kya Khandala
Kya Karoon Aake Main Khandala
Ghoomenge Phirenge Naachenge Gaayenge
Aish Karenge Aur Kya


                                 A girl doesn’t know what to say?’ay kia may bolu?’ What kind of a girl is she?

EXHIBIT G:

Kisi Disco mey jaye jaye,
Kisi hotel maye khaye khaye,
Koi daikh ley na humay yaha kaie ghoom k aye hum,
Chalo Ishq laraye Chalo Ishq Laraye Chalo Ishq Laraye Sanam.
                                           OHMYGOD.I don’t even want to comment on this.


EXHIBIT H :

You all have heard Ganpat,right?From Shoot out? When the chorus goes like ‘ IN THE MUMBAI ALL OVER INDIAAA WE ARE THE BHAAAIII WE ARE THE BHAIII’ for some odd reason I cannot control my laughter.It cracks me up everytime.



EXHIBIT I :

Who remember this song?

Oonchi Hai Building Lift Teri Band Hai
Kaise Main Aanu Dil Rajamand Hai
Aaja Aaja Aaja Bandbaaja Leke Aaja Teri Yaad Sataaye Dulheraaja Ab To Aaja

                                         What?Already the dude is saying k lift bandh hay aur Madam bol ri hain Bandbaja ley k aja?Woh khud akailay naye aa paa raha toh BandBaja kahan sey lay k aye ga apnay sath?Crazy people.

-Take fifty nine- THE PRINCESS

Okay,so really, I should be studying for my finals, which are starting from next Tuesday, but I’m sort of prepared for them ( I guess) so, I think I can blog for a while. Plus, I’m really bored. So, as requested, today, this take is dedicated to all the fairy-tales out there, which made all the girls suffer from inferiority complexes and turn green with jealousy or envy (depends on how you look at it )because the ‘Babe’ of any fairy-tale has:


A : The pefect hair,teeth,nails,eyes etc.

B : Greatest friends. Including Mice,horses,birds and dwarfs.

C : Has connections with fairies who grant every wish, like glass slippers. ( Gee,I would really want a pair of that)

D: She is very talented. Can sing songs, talk with birds and other friends of the animal kind.And has hair so strong that a young man can climb up a tall tower with it. I’m not sure how THIS is a talent, but it’s true!

E: Of course, Prince Charming. Who can EVER forget HIM? The handsome lad.



But if you think the ‘Fairy Tale Princesses’ had it easy…you are wrong.The flip side of being a Babe of any fairy-tale is :

A:She has to deal with Ugly Step Sisters. And a Step Mother.

B : She has to deal with witches, who put weird curses on her, out of jealousy, cut off her long hair, make her eat poisonous apples,make her prick stuff and faint. Or sleep.

C : She has to do lots of chores.

D : She has to obey strange curfew timings (like being home before midnight)

E : She is stalked by weird men, who have been bribed by the Step Mother, to take her into the forest and…kill her. OHTHEHORROR!



But in the end, we all know that it’s going to be a happy ending, and she gets up having everything HER WAY,so we really don’t feel that bad for her. Anyway, following is a brief take on some of my favourite fairy-tales, which I know by heart.



CINDERELLA:

My FAVOURITE. So, I’m not going to tell what happens in this story, I assume you should be knowing this already cuz who doesn’t know about CINDERELLA? Yeah,the famous ,pretty girl, with really nice feet, which fit perfectly in those glass slippers. The Step Mother was really unfair with her and I think,it served her right, that she couldn’t get any of HER OWN daughters married to the Prince. She made Cindy (lol) do all this extra hard work while her own daughters just sat there and tried to look pretty…but in vain. I’m sure, the word MEAN in the dictionary, has a picture of Cinderella’s Step Mom next to it.



SNOW WHITE:

Lets face it. Snow-white had an extremellllyyyyy narcissistic evil step mother,who couldn’t get enough of herself and had this weird talking mirror and all day long she used to just stare at herself in it and ask the same question over and over again ‘Mirror,Mirror on the wall,who is the fairest of them all?’( boy,she’s really dumb) She knew,it’s not her, but still she was hopeful that one day,maybe the Mirror would say her name. NOT. Haha. And I like how the Dwarfs were so supportive of snow-white.



SLEEPING BEAUTY:

The Evil-Witch, who wasn’t invited to Princess Aurora’s party was a tailor. Why else would she spend her life with a Spindle and grow old with it? The old lady, whom Aurora meets in the tower, was the Witch herself.COME ON,WE KNOW THAAAT.And the part about Aurora sleeping for years…was it really the curse?Or maybe Aurora took some pills? Maybe she was not normal. Maybe,I’m just trying to hard to be funny. Okay,moving on!



RAPUNZEL:

Ah, the girl with realllllyyy long hair! What did she put on her hair that made them grow so long,anyway? Maybe, she drank a magic portion for that as well. And why wasn’t the Prince carrying his own rope or ladder to climb the tower? Imagine, putting your head out of a window and letting down your hair, just so someone can climb with its help? OUCH.That must be painful. But since, the Prince was cute, so it’s okay then.

-Take fifty eight-Sooperb Superstitions

Do you lose your mind everytime a black cat crosses your path? Do you hyper ventilate when someone opens an umbrella INSIDE the house?Did your groom,right before the engagement ceremony drop the ring and you gave up everything,imagining the worst? Do you freak when a mirror breaks?Or do you dream that you are running real fast and when you wake up you think that there will be a big change in your life?



Admit it. You are superstitious. Am I? Not really. Except for this one thing : Everytime,I tell anyone that I plan on going somewhere, I end up NOT going. Strangeee. I don’t know how that happens, but it does and now I just don’t tell anyone if Im going somewhere. Another strange thing which happens at our place , is this that we can’t really ORDER FAST FOOD without having to face some trouble. Like for eg, everytime we order pizza, the electricity goes off and that to for hours, everytime we order KFC some guests show up RIGHT before we even start eating, or someone falls sick,or the delivery guy doesn’t show up AT ALL- something has to go wrong. Exasperated by this, my Brother dearest decided that this time he’ll GO TO MC DONALDS and BRING THE FOOD by himself, so he goes, orders, brings it back to home and now?

One burger is missing. And no one wants to share. Oh Goody.



              About Cats I’m not really superstitious, I don’t mind black cats either. Some people consider them as a really bad omen. I never really noticed if, after seeing a black cat, I fall or bruise my hand or break something,or spill something (just noticed that all these things are superstitious themselves like breaking a mirror,spilling salt etc etc.Weird) Okay,so now it’s your turn to tell what you are superstitious about and any weird superstitions that you've heard.

-Take fifty seven-DUB THIS!!

I was watching Nickelodeon yesterday with a couple of REALLY NOISY KIDS,whom I was to baby sit and eventually ended up watching Dora the Explorer…in Hindi. Yes, that’s right. It was hilarious. The title song goes something like this ‘ Eik thi larki, bari siyani then something something daiti thi sub ko who naie naie tips,koun hey yey choti si missss’ OHMYGOD. What was that about? For those of you WHO HAVE watched Dora before, you guys must be knowing how Dora and Boots ( The Monkey,who is AS DUMB AND CLUELESS AS MISS D HERSELF) sing a song after accomplishing some task. The song is ‘ We did it!We did it!We did it!YAYY!’ and the Hindi version of this is ‘ HUMNEY KIA.HUMNEY KIIA!!’ and another song ‘ Aow,hum chalay,chalo hum chalaaaay,hum sub chal rahay hein,chalo ab chalay’- Err…



Following Is a scene from Dora the Exp in HINDI. Dora and Boots have to go to Blueberry Hills to get some Blueberries.

Dora: Boots. Woah daikho!woh rahay Blueberry Hills!

Boots: Aray haan!per yey toh buhat durr hein Dora!Hum kaisay whaa taq pohunchay gay? * Looks into your eyes right through the TV screen,with eyes full of hopelessness*

Dora : Kia ap humari madad keray gay Blueberry Hills pohunchnay taq? (it’s a question for us) * Looks into your eyes right through the TV screen,with eyes pleading for help*

Dora: *silences* GREAT! Kia apko kahein parachute nazar araha hey?* Looks into your eyes ,right through the Television with immense thankfulness and gratitude*

Dora: *silence* THANKS!HUMARI MADAD KERNAY KA SHUKRIYA!CHALO BOOTS!

****LAME SONG****: AOW HUM CHALAYYY CHALOO HUM CHALAYYYY HUM CHAL RAHAYE HEIN CHALO AB CHALAYY!!YAYYYYY

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.



And if THIS wasn’t enough, they started showing Sponge Bob S. Pants in Hindi too. I do not like SpongeBob’s Hindi voice, it is so morose. The genuine English SpB has a more high pitched voice,this Hindi one isn’t much fun. Anyway, here is a snippet of that Dubbed Episode.

MR.KRABS: Tum logou k liyey khush khabri hey!

SP BOB: KIA HUA MR.KRABS?

SQUIDWARD: ARAY YEY KIA SHOUR HORA HEY YAHA PEY!

MR. KRABS: SUNOO!MERI PYARI BITIYAA PEARL ARI HEY AUR WOAH KRUSTY KRABS KI BUSINESS KO TAKE OVER KERNA CHAHTHI HEY!MEY BATA NAIE SAKTA K MUJHEY KITNA GARV HEY APNI PYARI NANHI BITIYA PEY!!AKHAR MEY USKA PITA JO HU

PATRICK: WAH MR.KRABS YEY TOH SUCH MEY KHUSHI KI BAAT HEY!HAHAHA...HA *weird Patrick laugh*


MR.KRABS: HEYNA?MUJHHEY PATA THA K TUM LOG B YEY KHABAR SUN KAY BUHAT KHUSH HOGAY!TUMARA KIA KHAYAL HEY SPONGEBOB?

SQUIDWARD: *GLARES AT SPONGEBOB*

SPONEBOB: Uh..Mr.Krabs…

-Take fifty six-I’m soo Lonely…Baaah, I’m a lonely Bakraa. Bahhh

Today,I was just looking at these bakras and gaye’s, tied up in this hugeeee garden type ground, which directly faces our Balcony and I noticed,infact I’ve noticed this every year that out of all these bakra’s there is always that one Bakra which looks spaced out. You know? Completely lost? Even his baah baah-s are so un-enthusiastic and the others bakra’s do not seem to pay any attention to Mr.Lonely. This bakra looks almost sad. Not that, he cries ( or maybe, he does and maybe um it’s kind of a night thing,like u know,when the moon comes out he cries?Or maybe I need to get a life) but somehow that Bakra looks JUST PLAIN SAD.



Haye beychara Bakra.



But with Cows, its not the same. All the cows seem to be happy, chewing ghaas and stuff (yeah) and mooooing in their really obnoxious voice and flapping their tails at flies who dare to sit on them. I wonder what’s their secret of happiness. And what’s the reason for the lonely Bakra to be sad… the way he says bahhh it’s almost as if he’s saying “ bachao.”



Tell me ,if you’ve noticed these lonely bakra’s as well so that I can feel better about myself that I’m not the only person and it’s not some weird paranoid thing.

-Take fifty Five-Oh,you confused huh?

Everytime I see/hear people saying ‘ I miss you ,bitch’ OR ‘ Please pick up the phone,bitch’ OR ‘ Omg you are such a bitch,I love you’,it makes me wonder if people have some serious love for female dogs…-Wait. What is that supposed to mean? You are saying something nice and tryna be mean as well? I never got it,even after all those years,why people say ‘I love you, bitch’ and others take it very nicely too? For as long as I can remember wasn’t Bitch supposed to be a bad word? What so good about being a Female Dog,anyway?


Whats up with THAT?

You want to say something nice, be polite. Sure, you can use all the bad words you want, but please use them in their proper context. Like, if someone says ‘Bitch,I hate you’- That makes sense. Good enough.

But saying stuff like ‘Omg,you look so good bitch’ is a NO NO . BE POLITE AND PONDER ON THESE FAMOUS WORDS BY MR.AKON,when he says :’ Im tryna find the words to describe this girl, without being disrespectful’- even though he ( Akon) didn’t do a very good job at this himself(though the song rocked!!) but still, here this is me wishing you some much needed Common sense for where and when to use which word.Good luck!

Oh,you fancy huh?!

-Take fifty four- MY TOP 10 REASONS AS TO WHY I THINK WINTERS ARE SO COOL (Literally)

OKAAAYYY SO WINTERS ARE FINALLY HEREE! <3

And I can think of a lot of good reasons,why winters are SO SO SO much better than summers!

Reason # 1 : My birthday. 3rd December! If that’s not a good enough reason to like winters, I don’t know what is!

Reason # 2 : No electricity for hours? Not aay problem, cuz the weather is pleasant and you can just lie on the couch like you’re half dead and wait PATIENTLY for the electricity to come back. You don’t feel all hot and grouchy and that automatically leads to less chances of you ripping someone’s head off or slapping someone in the face and then say ‘Bijli naye thi,I was annoyed,sorry’.



Reason # 3 : No sweat! NO STINK! Winters also make you sweat less ( or not sweat at all,depends,really,since considering the fact we have 2 million sweat glands in our body-Gee,that’s a lot of stink) So,as I was saying before launching into a speech about how we sweat and don’t sweat (eww) that NORMALLY,in winters you don’t sweat and that could be a treat for your nose, which suffers so much during summers.

NOTE: If you do sweat,summer/winter,please do us all a favour and be a sweat(lol)heart I mean,SWEETHEART and consider…NO,NOT CONSIDER,YOU MUST,use a deo spray or a roll on. That or you would have no friends.No,I’m just kidding,smelly people have friends too, I was just trying to scare you into using a deodorant. ENOUGH SAID!


Reason # 4 : The winter smell!OMG,does anyone know what I’m talking about? YES!That specific winter smell which gets even stronger in evenings and at nights. I’ve always tried to guess what that smell is-Is it of wood?or leaves?Or just the winter itself? I’m guessing,it’s the winter itself. Leave your reply in the comment box, as to what you think that winter smell is off!


Reason # 5 : You can get away with dressing up as a sheep.Bleat. Bleat.Bleat.

Reason # 6 : You can take pictures of yourself, posing with a hot cup of tea/coffee and not get comments like : ‘ Itni garmi mey chai?!’


Reason # 7 : Because winters are cosy!OH YES!

Reason # 8 : You can wear socks all the time. I love socks. Socks.Socks and more Socks.

Reason # 9 : You can burry yourself in blankets…well,not in Karachi, since the winters are not THAT cold, but really if you want to burry yourself underneath piles of blankets and quilts,go for it. Just don’t blame me,when you wake up next morning and you notice that half of you is melted.


Reason # 10 : I just like winters, just like that. I just think they are somehow better than summers cuz we don’t have to deal with heat and stuff. The only thing we HAVE to deal with in winters is dry feet,hands,lips, hair- everything.. One word : VASELINE. Well, not on your hair-I mean,COME ON,you knew that!

-Take Fifty three-Say Cheeeeese!

I love taking pictures too.
But I don’t understand why people have to take so many shots,showcasing EVERY action they did during their outing or whatever. For example,if someone goes to a fast food joint,they would take pictures like this:
-Okay,this is us Party people *snap*

-Okay ,this is us,sitting on the table *snap*

-Okay,now this is us standing*snap*
-Okay,this is us sitting again (oh brother!) *snap*

-Okay,now we’re ordering food.*snap*
-Okay,now someone is laughing.*snap*

-Okay,now the waiter comes. *snap*
-Waiter approaching their table *snap*

-Waiter arrives.*snap* finally.
-Waiter taking order.Blurry picture cuz the waiter is moving so much *snap*

-Now waiter retreating to the the kitchen *snap*
-Now several other poses of the people who are on their outing itself *snap*snap*snap*

-Waiter bringing the food *snap*
-Putting the food on table * snap*

-Party people examining the food *snap*
-Party people holding a fork or a spoon or a knife *snap*

-Party people taking their own pictures,before eating food *snap*
-Party people,still taking more pictures of themselves * snap*

-The food just gets cold,sitting there…let’s take a snap of the food 2 so that it feels better *snap*snap*snap*

-Party people cutting their food *snap* (finally,looks as if they are finally going to eat it )
-Party people,putting the piece of food in their mouth*snap*

-Party people,like the food.Yum expression or thumbs up *snap*
-Party people hate the food,disgusted expression *snap* (optional)

-Party people chewing the food *snap*
-Party people swallowing the food *snap*

-Party people with their drinks *snap*
-Drinking…*snap*

-Gulp*Gulp*-Snap*
-Party people keeping the drink back on the table *snap*

-Party people…. *yawn*…

So, I hope, you get the picture (lol) of what I’m tryna say. Its cool, if you wanna take pictures, but does it have to tell everything what and how you did? While you were at it,why didn’t you take a picture and tell us how and when you blinked ur eyes or take a breath? Good God!

-Take fifty two- FrandShap anyone?

Where are all the frandshappers?

Is it me, or have most of the frandshappers turned over a new leaf and are now really normal people? I dunno but I’ve noticed –thanks to my extra ordinary stalking skills- that there are very few frandshappers left in this world. Oh goody! SO what could be the reason? Where are they? What are they upto? Are they now listed as endangered animals? Are they abducted by Aliens? Has Dora kidnapped them? Have they all gone to a private frandshap island? WHERE ARE THEY? I don’t know, but I sure can think of a few reasons why we see less frandshappers today, as compared to the good ol’ orkut days. Here we go.

Reason No. 1 :
They decided to get a life. Really. Remember how these frandshappers used to write on your walls ( if it’s not set to private-or you were too dumb to notice that you could set your wall as a private setting until you were hit by a brick) and before writing on the walls they used to write in our ‘scrapbook’ (orkut didn’t have a wall). They used to write all types of weird things since you could not set your scrapbook as private(at that time,you couldn’t,I don’t know about now) . They used to write weird things like ‘H3y I l!k3 your DpPzz.H0lL@ b@cKsz aT m3’ or they used to write their cell phone numbers c@ll me ,mY numb3rs is 03322783653 I w3ll w@itz (this is a fictional number.I really hope you actually don’t call at this number,expecting someone to answer it, cuz if you are or you're planning too, it’s not the frandshappers who need to get a life,it’s you who needs it. ) SO prolly the frandshappers thought that they should stop acting so ‘chipku’ maybe the girls would come knocking at their doors ,asking for their number. Ha! Nah,I’m just kidding. They won’t. Sorry.

Reason Number 2:
Maybe they saw/read how everyone started writing in their profiles, esp in the about-me sections that p3opl3 WhH0 tyPP3 l!k3 Th!s shOul)d nN0T @@dD m3h. Maybe they got scared.

Reason Number 3 :
Maybe they liked a girl. And the girl told that frandshapper that dude,look,you are not going to get a girl with John Abrahams picture as your profile. Really. We know, it’s not you. We know. You don’t. When will you learn that nobody wants to H!tT y3w B@cKs-Maybe literally,they would- but really, stop already. And so ditched by the qU33N 0F th3Yr (their –hahah) dR3e@mszz they thought ‘ bus. Ab toh waqaie kuch kerna paray ga!’.


Reason Number 4:

They got tired of everyone making fun of them. They have a heart too. So, let down by the anti-frandhshap movement, they decided to change their dp’s from John Abrahams,Britney Spears, Weird Cars,Plants, Tigers etc to pictures of weird emo boys and girls crying their eyes out, with black mascara running down their face. The msg was loud and clear : St0P !Tt w3 L0V3s t0o we J@ast w@NNazz m@k3 Fr!endSxz’. And this is why facebook introduced the ‘BLOCK THIS CRAZY PERSON FOREVER’ Option.

Reason 5 :
The figured (finally!) that tYp3Ing l!k3 tH!s, not only makes you look retarded but also takes double the time. Time is money, baby, time is money.

Reason 6:
Awareness. They dare to be aware!and so they came to know, that putting too many ‘x’s and y’s and z’s’ after every word (LOLXXX or YYYYX? or LOLZZzzZZ) will not get you friends. You have to have a virtual personality man. A virtual personality which does not involve
A: Dp’s of people who aren't you.
B: Your about me should include original stuff not stick figures made out of ‘/’s’
C: No lame ‘shairi’ like Barishon k mausam main tumhe yaad karne ki aadtein purani hain,Ab ki baar socha haipurani aadtein badal dalein ,Lekin phir khayal aaya…aadtein badalne sebarishein nahi rukti….

Nah. I’m just kidding. I was really,super bored so I came up with this random entry. Virtual personality-I can’t believe I just said that. No, I’m all for individuality and originality and if you think TyP1Ng l!k3 th!s is what defines you,then go for it. Who knows? Maybe someone WILL think you’re cool. And hey, if writing cheap stuff is what you really are, then okay, be it. At least you won’t be faking it! JuSt D00oo !Ttszz!

-Take Fifty One- Crazy Commercials.

If you watch lots of tv, you know how annoying they can get. But I was wondering, how annoying these advertisements are in themselves! Like how they just seem to go on and on and on about their products. Well, okay the prime purpose for these Ads is to go on and on about the products they are showcasing, but who writes the story lines for them? With the exception of a few,most Ads appear senseless and they leave you thinking- ‘Hey, would someone tell me what was that about?’ Or ‘Okay. Am I crazy or did this ad did not make any sense at all? ‘ following are a few ads which I find downright funny and totally ridiculous.


Who remembers that Ad about cigarettes, where a couple of hikers, go through a really treacherous path and face lots of difficulties and FINALLY reach the top of the mountain. I thought, after almost risking their lives, they would celebrate that they have reached their destination, but not really. Instead, one of them guys, pulls out a pack of ciggs and is like ‘Dudes,lets smoke!’. I mean,this isn’t exactly what he says duh. If someone re-calls this add please do comment telling me what brand of cigs it was.


Okay. This one is really popular. Fair and Lovely. In this ad there’s this ‘kaali c larki’ who’s Mother is a make up artist. She is apparently not very old, but the Actress whos make up she’s supposed to be doing,is a real snob and she tells the make up wali aunty k ‘saye sey make up ni kar sakti toh ghar baitho’ and make up artist’s kaali masoom daughter,over hears this and cries and whines to her Mother saying that she (the mother) makes all the other girls looks beautiful while she ( the kaali girl) is so ugly! And ta-da! The Mom pulls out a FairnLovely ki tube and the girl uses it and ta-da! She’s if FAIR AND LOVELY. SO FAIR AND LOVELY that she becomes this hot super actress and wins an award and in the award ceremony there is the same snobby actress (who previously told the Mother to go get a life) but our fairnlovely girl says how her mother helped her in becoming so fair and lovely. Ummm… Okaaaay.


Another Fairness Cream Ad.The ad starts with this kaali girl,who has a very dark face,ONLY,while her arms are very fair.Hmm.Perhaps,too much time in the Sun? She has lots of pimples on her face and she goes for bowling. There are a couple of guys there too who completely ignore her and the girl faces a terrible shock to her self esteem. ‘Ab taq thi yey khali kyukay skin thi iski kaali,creamay lagati thi jaali,ab apni manzil hey isnay paali’ and the manzil here is the ‘Skin White Cream’. She uses it and SUDDENLY she becomes reaaalllyyy fair. And she goes to this Shadi ka function and as soon as she enters, all the men in the hall stop and stare at her. I’m sure she must be feeling really nice with all the men looking at her. Riiiighhhhttt. But wait!That’s not it! The funniest part is that the minute she enters in the Shadi Hall,she starts to dance. Okay. So this Skin W Cream can make you put Michael Jackson to shame as well, with all your killers dance moves and all. And on her way out, she see’s another girl who is very dark and she hands her ‘secret’ ( hahah) to her.


Another Ad. WaterMelo( or something close) Ice cream. Omg has anyone seen it ? Okay,so there is this weird looking guy with a huge watermelon infront of him and then he pulls some weird jackie chan stunt and spilts the watermelon in half. Somehow that watermelon turns into an ice cream( ihavenoooideahowthathappened) and he eats the ice cream as if it’s the best thing on earth.Right.


Okay.Another Ad. QuickCool Powder. The majorly annoying character of the entire add is the little kid who sits on his bicycle and from every other corner in the house, he emerges saying ‘QuickCool QuickCool’. This add stars this big family. A Grandma who is kinitting something and out comes the GrandPa asking ‘ Aray Bhai,kisi ney merey chashmay daikay hein?’ For some reason, the Grandma gets offended and she says in a haughty tone ‘ Humay kia pata!’ and the little kid comes on his bicycle chanting ‘ quickcool quickcool’. Then in the other corner of the house we have a brother and a sister who are fighting over something and then again comes the little kid on his bicycle chanting ‘Quickcool quickcool’. Then in the Kitchen we have the Mother of the little kid who is cooking food and all this work makes her really exhausted and then comes the Father, tired from a long day at work,he says something which I don’t remember and the Wife replies ( I don’t remember that either) something not very affectionate which pisses off the Husband more and AGAIN THE KIDS COMES ON HIS BICYCYCLE CHANTING QUICKCOOL QUICKCOOL! OMG KID!SHUTUPPP ALREADY!


SO,the next time when you have a fight with your friend, or you get a bad grade or the teachers yells at you just cuz she herself is having a bad day. Remember. Two Words. Only. QUICK COOL. QUICK COOL.

-Take Fifty- Nursery Rhymes Gone Wrong.

We all remember them. How can we forget? We all memorized them by heart, regardless of the fact whether we understood them or not. But now that I’m all grown up and stuff , I realize that if we had some sense back then, we would be questioning all the poems. Don’t understand? Read along and maybe, you will.


Exhibit A : Ba Ba Black Sheep,Have You Any Wool?Yes Sir,Yes Sir, Three Bags Full. One For My Master, One for the Dame and One for the Little Boy Who Lives down the Lane.

Sheep can talk? Ba Ba Black Sheep is obviously the name of the Sheep here. It is the one answering all the wooly questions. I think the Sheep must be just saying Bah Bah-Like you know, the common sheep language, I think it is the Boy or the Man (supposedly the Farmer. Could be a business man too. Or maybe a Tailor.) who is apparently an expert at understanding sheep talk. Neat!


Exhibit B : Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.How I wonder what you are? Up above the World so high,like a Diamond in the sky.

I’m pretty sure, that this particular poem was written by a Female. Why do I say that? Well,she see’s Diamonds, when she looks at the stars. Diamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds.


Exhibit C : Old Mc Donald had a farm, Eeya Eeya Yo. And on the Farm he had some Cows.Eya Eya Yo. And a Mo Mo there and a Mo Mo here. There Mo, Here Mo. Everywhere Mo Mo. ( Insert different animals everytime you sing this poem eg Goats, Horse, Chicken,Ducks etc etc)

Old Mc Donald really liked farming. I’m willing to bet he was very rich, I mean look at all the animals he has on his farm. One word. Farmville. If Old Mc Donald had access to computer, on his farm ( I’m not sure,computers even existed at that time) and if he had a Facebook account, he’d be the Undisputed Lord of Farmville with a kazillion neighbors all willing to ploug his land for him, collect the chicken eggs, sprinkle fertilizers on his crops. Etc. Etc.

Exhibit D : Mary had a little lamb, little lamb,little lamb, Mary had a little Lamb, its fleece was white as snow. Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went, Everywhere that mary went, The Lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day. It followed her to school one day. Which was against the rules. It made the children laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play, it made the children laugh and play to see a Lamb at school.


Mary was probably a bad student. You know, not doing her homework on time,skipping classes, getting really bad grades, telling lies to her teachers, stealing lunch money from other kids-I mean, why else would she bring a Lamb to school and distract the other children? What an evil plot! And I’m pretty sure the Lamb suffered from low self esteem-with all the children pointing and laughing at him. Poor Little thing.

Exhibit E : Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the Kings Horses and all the Kings Men, could not put Humpty together again!

For those of you who remember Mr. H Dumpty’s picture, he was drawn like an egg-shell. Like his face was like an egg shell with two legs, and if he fell from a wall and the King’s Men tried putting him together, I’m guessing the King’s Men were pretty stupid, trying to fix an egg shell! What the? And Horses? How are Horses going to help put the Egg Shell Pieces back? Why didn’t the King just come down at the place where this accident took place and insert a NEW EGG SHELL instead of the broken one?

Exhibit F : Itsy Bitsy Spider, climbed up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out, Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Now, Imagine if you were Itsy Bitsy. First,you put in all this extra effort in climbing the spout and this rain comes and washes you down. You are again where you started from.
Itsy Bitsy+Hard Work+Climbing +Rain Comes+Itsy bisty going down= Angry Spider.
Itsy Bitsy+Waiting for the sun to come out and dry all the rain+ Still waiting+ Waiting+ Yawning= All this waiting makes Itsy more angry.
Itsy Bitsy+ Finally Sun comes out+ Dries up all the rain+Climbing again+Putting in effort again= Angry and Tired Itsy Bitsy.

Exhibit G : Row, Row, Row your boat,Gently down the stream. Merily, Merily ,Merily, Merily Life is but a dream.

This one has to be the most philosophical poem ever. Life is but a dream. Imagine. You going through all the bitterness of life and one day you wake up and realize, Good Lord! It was just a dream! I should have just rowed my boat instead. Hmm.

-Take forty nine- Stop and care.

I just came across this group on fb which said ‘ You get hurt the minute you start to care’ and I was like wth, man? If caring was so bad, nobody would actually be doing it then ,now,would they? I wonder why people always potray positive things in such a bad manner. Like I came around this line ( maybe again on fb since most of the things I come across, are from there) too that ‘ I stopped caring because you don’t appreciate it’ Okay.Fine. I admit it feels really bad when you care for someone and they couldn’t really give a damn about it. But why should it stop YOU from being a nice person?

I guess,we never really stop being a nice person. We do care. Always and forever. Sometimes,we show it a lot, it doesn’t get appreciated and then we stop, but we don’t really stop. What I mean is, that even if someone is really bad and mean to us, and hurts us and KEEPS on hurting us from time to time (lol) we don’t stop. We do say ‘enough,already!I’ve had it with you’ or ‘just get lost and don’t bother talking to me again’ but that’s not really it. We do stop talking to that person. We do get lost or make the other person lost (really,depends on who’s fault is it and accordingly you decide who has to get lost) but face it: There is always some feeling behind the words ‘I don’t care’
Mostly it’s love, but it doesn’t always have to be love.

Hate is a pretty intense feeling too.
I love my contradictory posts.

-Take forty eight-MOODS.

For the past few days,I’ve been having some serious major mood swings,for no apparent reason and I got this grand idea of blogging about the different kinds of moods,all of us,or maybe SOME,or maybe a FEW of us, go through. Lets start!


-THE OMG I AM SO PISSED MOOD.

A: PISSED FOR A REASON : Probably the most famous one ever!Where you are pissed off maybe cuz someone told you, you don’t look nice, or maybe some teacher insulted you, or maybe your parents grounded you, maybe you were to call someone and you ran out of credit,or maybe your boyfriend didn’t comment on your fb status and now you are all cranky about it. Or maybe if you are somebody like me, you are pissed off because out of the 100000000 pictures you took of yourself, none came out the way you wanted,kahein ankh band hey,kahein baal urr ray hein.UGH.Here’s a demo.

Subject (the one with a bad mood!) : I AM SO PISSED OFF.
PARENT : Why?
SUBJECT: Because my boyfr…I mean uh…aisay he.Choray.
PARENT: Ajeeb.


B: PISSED OFF WITHOUT A REASON:This one here is really hard to figure out. You get irritated and annoyed for no reason at all.Here’s a demo.


SUBJECT: Ughh..
CLASSMATE: Kiya huwa,yaar?
SUBJECT: Ughh kuch ni ughh.
CLASSMATE: Mou kyu utra huwa hey?
SUBJECT: Kuch ni.Aisay he. (you are telling the truth!U don’t know!But no one believes you,which ultimately pisses u off even more!)
CLASSMATE: Batao na!I’m your friend! ( Okay,so this classmate probably doesn’t even know your full name and suddenly she’s your best friend?)
SUBJECT: Kuch ni huwa.
CLASSMATE: Mey kisi ko ni bataou ge.
SUBJECT: ARAY? MEY BOL RI HU NA KUCH NI HUWA!KIYA HEY TUMAY?SAMJH NI ATI BAR BAR POOCH RI HO KIA HUA KIA HUA?HATO YAHA SEY PAGAL KAHEIN KI *&@#*#&#!&@!&@!!#(!!
CLASSMATE: :/

- The HAPPY Mood:

This one is a nice mood.You are happy,with or without a reason,works fine both ways.

HAPPY(REASON)

Subject: I AM SO HAPPY!
BestFriend: I KNOW! IAM SO HAPPY THAT YOU FOUND THE RIGHT SHADE OF LIPSTICK!ALLAH HUMESHA TUMARI ISI TARHA MADAD KERTA RAY!AMEEN!
Subject: AWW THANKS YAAR! Hehehe (random weird happy laughter!)
HAPPY (WITHOUT A REASON)
Subject: HELLLO EVERYONE!
Friends: Wah bhai!Bara acha mood hey logou ka!
Subject : haan yaar hahaha
Friends: hahahahaha

THE I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING MOOD:

I love this one.Very closely realted to the ‘happy mood’.Where everything and anything seems ridiculous to you.

SUBJECT: hahahaah OMG Uskay baal check kero!hahahaha
FRIENDS: HAHAHAHAHAH OMG YEY KIA HEY?HAHAHAH
SUBJECT: PATA NI!HAHAHAHAHA AND SHE THINKS SHE LOOKS SO HOT!HAHAHAH
FRIENDS: BEYCHARI HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT: ISAY KOI BATA K AYE K YEY KITNI (*@#&*&#&@! LAG RI HEY
FRIENDS: HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT : HAHAHAHAHA
FRIENDS: HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT : HAHAHAH STOP IT NOW HAHAHAHAHA
FRIENDS: HAAHAHHA I CAN’T STOP HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT : OMG HAHAHAHAHAH CHUP KERO SUB HAHAHAHAAH
FRIENDS: TUM PEHLAY CHUP KERO HAHAHAHA ARAY USKO DAIKHO HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT: OMG AB YEY KOUN HEY AHAHAHAHAHHAHAAH
FRIENDS: PATA NI AHAHAHAHAH
SUBJECT AND FRIENDS : HAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAH

-THE PHILOSOPHICAL MOOD:

This one’s really profound,you know where you go in deep,deep thoughts,just like that.

Friends: Toh na phir blala blaa blaa haah and then haah blab la bla phir meiney kaha blab la hahah
Subject : Hmmm (gearing up for the philosophy)
Friends: Toh na…kiya huwa yaar?(finally realizing the far away look in your eyes)
Subject: hmm..sigh* kuch ni.
Friends: Is everything okay?
Subject : I want to know the meaning of life.I mean,why are we here?Are we here to fight and kill each other?Why are we here?What is the purpose of our being?Why do we fight amongst ourselves? SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME!
Friends: *silence*
Subject : What is the meaning of our life? (repeats the question to make herself sound more serious)
Friends: CHAL NIKALLLLLL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAH

- THE EAVESDROPPING MOOD:

I don’t know why,but its so much fun to listen to what the other people,sitting close to u, are talking about.

FRIENDS: HAHAHA PAGAL HO KIA HAHAHAH?
SUBJECT : (NOTICES THAT THE GIRLS SITTING NEXT TO U ARE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING)
OTHER PEOPLE: SO like,in my old school,I was like really really popular u know like seriously.And I was dating this guy who was like my senior like omg
SUBJECT: (HIGHLY CURIOUS NOW)
FRIENDS: HAHAHAHA NAYE YAAR ARAY DID U FINISH THAT ASSIGNMENT?
SUBJECT : SSHH (then you make all sorts of weird faces to make ur friends understand k ‘aow iski batein sunay’)
Friends: THEY GET IT AND NOW EVERYONE IS QUIET,PULLING OUT THEIR BOOKS AND JOURNALS AND TRING TO LOOK VERY BUSY,WHEREAS EVERYBODY HAS THEIR EARS ON WHAT THE ‘PAAPOOLAR GIRL’ IS TALKING ABOUT.
OTHER FRIENDS: AND THEN OMG I GAVE MY CELL PHONE TO MY MOM SO THAT SHE’D BE OKAY WITH THE FACT THAT I HAVE A BOY FRIEND.U KNOW,KUCH PANAY K LIYEY KHOUNA PARTA HEY!
SUBJECT AND FRIENDS: *unable to stay quiet anymore* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

THE I CAN’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING MOOD:

You know how at times you don’t get anything.You don’t get jokes,the secret nicknames your friends have kept for other people (and teachers) and you just downright out of the loop.

FRIENDS: ARAY HAAN HAHAHAH
SUBJECT: KIS BAAT PEY HANS RAY HO?
FRIENDS: AUR KAL DAIKHA THA UNKO HAHAHA
SUBJECT: MUJHEY B BATAO YAAR
FRIENDS: MISS *&&% K JOUTAY ALLLAAHHH HAHAH
SUBJECT: KOUN HEIN MISS *&&%?Mujhey b batao!
FRIENDS: HAHAHA EIK MINT BATATEY HEIN HAHAHAHA
SUBJECT: Batao na yaar,mujhey b hansna hey!
FRIENDS HAHAHA Yaar wohh jo hein naa hahahaah
SUBJECT : *silence*.



THE DEPRESSED MOOD:

A lot of reasons could be held responsible for this mood.Not doing well in studies,not being able to make friends,okay u made friends but u don’t get along with them,nobody understands your ideas.

SUBJECT: YEY ZINDAGI B NAA…
FRIENDS: Kiya kya huwa tumari zindagi ko?
SUBJECT: Bus yaar na pocho.Tang agaie hu mey is zindagi sey.

-THE MUFT KA MASHWARA MOOD:

You see someone depressed and immediately u start advising her how she should get over it and try to look at the brighter side of things.

SUBJECT : YAAR AISI BAAT NI HEY.TUMARI LIFE ITNI B BURI NI HOSAKTI.ITNAY SAREY AISAY LOUG HEIN JO TUM SEY ZAIDA BARI PROBLEMS MEY HEIN.FLOOD WALOU KO HE DAIKH LO.AGAR WOA DEPRESS HU TOH SAMJH B ATA HEY.TUMAY KIA MASLA HEY?TUM APNI ACHI QUALITIES PEY FOCUS KERO.BURAY KHAYALAT MAT LAO APNAY DIL MEY.

-THE BORED MOOD:
The most frequent one.You can’t run away from this.

SUBJECT: AMI KAHEIN CHALTAY HEIN MEY BUHAT BORE HORI HU
PARENTS: JAO KHANA PAKAO,BARTAN DHOU FORAN BORIAT KHATAM HOJAYE GI
SUBJECT: NAYE !YEY KAISAY KAAM HEIN?Mujhey aur bore ni houna!
PARENTS: ACHA TOH PHIR TUM KOI SEWING AND KNITTING KA COURSE KYU NI JOIN KER LAITI?
SUBJECT: :/

I’ll write about more moods.I have to go and study now.lol.BYE!

-Take forty eight-MOODS.

-Take Forty Seven-Stop it.Really,it's not amusing.

I find it not at all amusing when I see other people esp Pakistani’s making a joke out of everything.Why am I saying this?Just yesterday,I saw Mr.Altaf Hussain really,really sad over his friends ( and a very important member of his political party) death. Okay,the way he was going on about it,did seem a little dramatic and he couldv’e behaved in a more subtle manner,but there is no need of making up weird jokes and sms’s about his behavior.Did it ever occur to you,that he maybe he really DID feel sad?Maybe he really WAS that heart broken? No. I’m sick of people ridiculing Meera for her English. Leave her alone for Gods sake! What has she done to you?No,really?What has she ever done to you?She is her own person;you are your own. Since when do you judge people on how well they speak English? Of course,there are her innumerous scandals and all, but I just don’t understand why everyone has to make and poke so much fun at her? Isn’t she a Human being too?Or are you all too farigh to notice that you have a life,try to do something with it,rather than just going on about her English or whatever.

Meera is just one of many examples,I’m sure there are other more examples too.All of you seem to be missing one important fact: They are Pakistanis too. You being a Pakistani won’t respect them,people living out of Pakistan won’t either.

And then all of us talk endlessly about how Pakistan has such a bad image abroad.Riiight.So,shut up and stop ridiculing every other person you come across.

-Take forty six-Please don't kill me while I go down the stairs.

One of the most exciting moments ( depends, really how you look at it, for some it is exciting, for some it is horrific, for some it is just…well,they really don’t care,so moving on…) of my entire day at college is when the bell for the last period goes off. Oh.My.God. Girls,from every imaginable corner emerge,shouting on the top of their lungs, chasing each other,running,screaming,throwing empty water bottles at each other,while the teachers who are also walking with us, tsk-tsk us all the way to the gate.

We get off at 2:00 PM Sharp. And we have like 3 floors in our college,WHICH ARE HUGEEEEEEEEEEE FLOORS.With winding stair cases and never ending corridors. Since, I belong to the Arts faculty,all our classes are on the top floor,with the exception of Psychology which is on the 2nd floor, but our last period is ALWAYS on the top floor,so what does that mean? You start walking and try not to get run over by other people who are also walking and you pray silently that you don’t trip over the steps of the stairs and you hope to reach the college gate in one piece with all your books and bags intact.. It is no less than an adventure.

My friends and I, like to travel together-whenever and wherever possible. So, when the last bell rings, all of us like a pack of wolves (really decent wolves) take the stairs together. We start together,but I don’t remember if there was ever a time,when all of us friends made it till the last floor together. We usually get separated somewhere amidst the shouting,and pushing and shoving and everything else in between.

Just today, my friend and I were walking together,going down the stairs and we were talking, and suddenly I remembered something I had to tell her and on impulse I was about to hit her on her arm when I realized that my friend had been replaced by some teacher of the Science faculty.I had no idea where she came from,she was there and my friend wasn’t.

On the ground floor,we have this HUGE,WIDE stair case,that leads up to the floors above.In the morning and in the afternoon,everytime we have to climb those stairs,it seems like either we are going to make it to the headlines in a newspaper ‘GIRLS IN COLLEGE, AFTER BEING PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS AND THEN BEING WALKED UPON TO THEIR DEATH’ All the girls are like ‘JALDI KERO-CHALO B NA!’ ‘ KIA DAIKH RI HO?KISKA INTEYZAR HEY?OYE HOYE HOYE’I want to punch them in the face. And they are some who walk so SLOW.I want to punch them in the face too.

The only good thing about the stair cases being so over crowded and the girls being sooo rowdy is that sometimes,you just have to stand,you don’t have to walk,you just stand at one place and you are pushed and pulled so hard,from the back,from the left,from the right,that before you know it,you are at the gate.Thankyou,girls.

-Take forty five-Eid Shopping.

I've been staying over at my sister's place for like 2 days now.I came friday afternoon,then on Staurday we went to Gulf for shopping.Now personally,I don't like shopping.I HATE IT.It is just so annoying,roaming here and there,getting your foot stepped on by so many other people.So,basically,I save money and then make a mental list of all the things I want to buy and then one day,I go out in the wild (not literally) and shop.
I had made my dress for eid,in july,I always want to be prepared before hand.I hadn't bought any shoes,I had no jewelry,no shoes,no bangles.I felt incomplete.Now the sisters,who's place Im staying over,is OBSESSED WITH SHOPPING.She loves it like anything,so she told me that when I'd come over she'll take me.So off we went to Gulf,after 12:30. I half dreaded the fact that when we'll go everything will be closed,and our coming here would be a complete waste of time.

Anyway,so we bought bangles,and earings and rings,and shoes and I was really happy that i was getting everything I wanted!I WAS SO HAPPY.Then,my sister was making her daughters try on some shoes,while I just stood there,awkwardly looking at people.I had nothing to do.I noticed this girl,clad in a bhurka and she was holding hands of this ajeeb sa looking guy and OMG they were creating such a scene,acting all lovey dovey in such a private place.The girl was literally dragging the boy with him and the boy...well,he just let himself be dragged.The girl was holding a few registers and I just assumed that maybe both of them were in the same class or something and maybe they got off early today so the girl decided to make the guy go bankrupt.

I was still looking at them,noticing what they were doing,what they were buying.My sister was STILL making her daughters try on shoes.I noticed how the guy was trying to convince his lady love to try on some bangles and the girl was like 'yey achi ni' and I was like,Uhhh...

I told my sister about them and she was like where?who are u talking about?I was like baji!there!Can't u see?My sister was like maybe they are married,how do u know that they are not?I said,how do u know that they are?Kheir,they went away.And we continued shopping.

Then we came across this shop which HAD AMAZING CLOTHES and needless to say I fell in love with this beautiful dress.It was for 2200 rs.Then we went away,still shopping but I couldn't forget the dress.I wanted it.I told my sister,I had enough money to buy it so lets go and buy it.She agreed.We reached there,I,very conifdently made the shopkeeper show me 8-10 other dresses like that and finally settled on the one he had shown me sub sey pehlay.I told him to pack it,he did that.And I opened my bag and OMG I just had 1800 rs and I WAS LIKE WHAT THE?!?The dress was for 2200 and I was short of money.But my sister came to my rescue,and we bought the dress,thus saved from all potentional embarrassment.


So what did I learn from all this?I learnt that before u say,'haan bhai,yey wala dey dein' be sure to count your money BEFORE that.Not AFTER it.

-Take Forty Four-Over used words and phrases.

Today,I was thinking that how certain words and phrases have been overly used by all of us,over the years and some of them still have their charm,whereas others are just like,extinct now.

For example,remember how,as kids whenever we got into a fight or an argument we used to say 'Jo kehta hey woe hota hey'?OMG that was like THE COMEBACK of the century.And if you've been said 'Jo kehta hey woe hota hey' to your face then you better go and hide yourself in a cave.Or burry your head in sand,like an Ostrich.

Then I remember,when we grew up a little and we became a little modern and started using more modern day phrases and words like 'Tum toh Pagal ho!'.Telling someone that your a 'Pagal' was considered an A one insult.And now,we say 'Pagal' to everyone,not really as an isult,more like as a congratulatory word.

Then came those days when PowerPuff Girls were in vogue.lol.And they used to say 'You suck!' and we adopted that too.'Get out' or 'Go to Hell' came a little later.I remember that whenever somebody said the word 'Hell' back in my 4th Grade days,we used to be soo astonished and formed the badest of opnions about the person using the word 'Hell'.All day long we could only think about how bad and terrible that person is for using such a cursed word.We used to talk about it for weeks!

Then came the high school days when we couldn't get enough of lip gloss's and kajals and crushing on Pop Stars.And saying 'like seriously' after every word,and I mean EVERY WORD,was the in thing.'Get real' was another commonly used phrase.'Take a hike' too.The came the trend of saying 'oh shit!' after doing a wrong math sum,after waking up and realizing your'e late for school,reaching school and realizing that you've forgotten your Chemistry text book at home etc etc.

Point is,with time, certain words and phrases cannot be used by us without making us look really embarrassed.Imagine that if one of our Teachers is scolding us for not submitting the assignment on time and then calling us lazy and what do we say in return?Miss jo kehta hey woe hota hey!!

-Take forty three-Aey Bajii!.

While coming back from college yesterday,I noticed how loud some car horns are.Like,has anybody heard a Bus ka Horn?If you haven't,you should!It's not just an ordinary 'peeep-peep' its like the Godzilla of 'peep-peeps'.More like PPPPPPPPPPPHHHEEEEEPPPP PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. And some bus's have horns which play proper music!SERIOUSLY!Pura gana chalta hey!Trii eehehug pere trri taaari*

Basically,I wanted to talk about the beggars in this blog.And how constantly they annoy the *&&^ out of you.I mean,I'm no cold,mean,selfish person that I wouldn't give them money,I do.Honestly,I do.But at times,yaar banday k pass paisay ni b hotay,per woh loug samjtay he nae!Esp if the beggars see you in a uniform they go like:


Beggar Bhai : Baji,Allah K naam pey dey do,baji!
Me: *looks the other way*
Beggar Bhai : Baji!Aeyy Bajii *knocks on the window* Bajii
Me : Ughhh *slightly annoyed*
Beggar Bhai : Aey Baji,Allah kerey tu pass hojaye,achay number aye aey baji sun na *knocks on the window again* (A little louder this time!)
Me : Thinking*what's up with the signal?!?!* Kub Green hoga?Ahhh(Cuz I want to move from that spot ASAP cuz I feel guilty of not giving him anything!)
Beggar Bhai: *Still there* Bajii (Knocks on my window at the speed on 30 knocks per second)
Me: *still avoiding eye contact with the Beggar*
-Finally the signal turns green-Freeedom!Sorry.


Not very far,another signal.Oh dear,another red.I see another Beggar approaching.This time its a woman with a baby.
Beggar Bhen: Baji,kuch madad kerdo,Bacha bhooka hey.
Me: Looks at the baby very sadly*
Beggar Bhen: Baji kuch ni khaya subha sey(And as if on cue,the baby starts to cry)
Me : Genuinely feeling very sad and thinking how life is.Lost in the philosophy of life.
Beggar Bhen: Bajiiii
-Signal turns green and off we go- Which shakes me out of my 2 minute philosophies.Whoops.

Okay,we're driving.We get the next signal open.Good!yayy!Next signal.Ohhh!!Red.Hmph.This time,it's also a Beggar Bhen,but apparently she's not carrying a baby.And she approaches my driver,instead of asking me for money.Maybe the previous two beggars texted her saying k yey larki paisay ni deyti.

Single Beggar Baji:* doesnt say anything* just extends her hand (the normal gesture for asking money)
My driver: *hands her a 1 ruppee coin*
Me: sitting at the back and looking at all this *
Single Beggarr Baji: *She looks at the coin and as soon as she realizes that it's a one rupee coin,she gives it back to my driver*
My Driver: *stupefied*
Me: Woaaaaaaah.Attitude.

-Take Forty Two-Morning Assembly.

Despite our protests,we still have our morning assemblies in which a few girls from a specific class,come up on the stage,recite a few verses from the Holy Quran and then we have the translation of it,then a Hadees and then maybe a lame 'thought of the day' and finally the National Anthem.And sometimes the Principal even comes on the stage to announce which girl from which faculty has been suspended for what reason.

Anyway,I've been noticing how nobody pays attention to whatever is happening on the stage,everybody is so engrossed in their own thoughts that nobody even listens to what the girls on stage are saying.And the discipline teachers on duty,in the morning assembly,are stupidly annoying.And nobody listens to them either.Following is a brief scene of what USUALLY happens during the assembly:


Discipline Teacher No. 1 : Beytaa!Line mey khari hu,seedi tarhaa!
Random Attitude Girl: Yeah,whatever.
Disci Teacher No 1 : Tameez ni hey apko?
Random Attitude Girl : *Rolls eyes*

-The Girl on the stage starts to recite the Quranic verses,usually people listen to that,out of respect which is a good thing.After that's over,lets continue:

Now another group of friends in another line,talking.

Girl No .1 : Aray pata hey kal kia huwa?
Girl No.2 : Kia huwa?
Girl No. 1 : Mey kal shopping k liyey gaie thi aur itni garmi thii aur itna rouza lag ra thaa k bus mey kia...

Now another group of girls,making fun of other girls:
Girl No. 1 : Omg!Us larki ko daikho!
Girl No.2 : Alllaaah!She's so weird!
Girl No .3 : *laughs hysterically*
Girl No. 1 and 2 : *laugh hysterically together!'

-Girl on the stage:Today's thought of the day is 'Be kind to...*voice fades away*

Another group,the studying kind:
Random Nerd Girl No. 1 : Yaar!We have a physics test and u guys didnt tell me!
Random Nerd girl No .2 : Yar!Mujhey khud ni pata tha k aj physics ka test hey!I was too busy doing my Chemistry numericals when the teacher announced.
Random Nerd Girl No. 1: Oh God. *panics* ab kia hogaaa? (she usually gets the first position,but she still has to panic)

Discipline Teacher : Ssshhhh! *nobody listens*

Another Girl.Just one Girl.The Lost Kind.
Random Lost in her own thoughts girl: *siggh*

Another group of girls-The Cheapri's.
Random Cheap Girl No.1 : Aye hayee,tere phone kaha tha kal?
Random Cheap Girl No. 2: *laughs*
Random Cheap girl no .1 :Aray hans kyu ri heyy?*laughs herself*
Random Cheap Girl 2 : Tujhay kia hey mey hansu ya you *laughs again*
Random Cheap Girl No. 1 : Scratches her head*


-The Girls on the stage are getting ready for the National Anthem now.Pak Sar Zameen..

Another Group of Girls-The Burger Kind.
Burger Girl 1 : Whaddap?
Burger Girl 2 : Like,nothing.Sup with you?
Burger Girl 3 : Like omg what is that teacher wearing?
*all 3 burger girls turn around to see what the Teacher is wearing'

-Qaum ul Saltanat...(national anhtem continues)
Burger Girl 1 :Omg.that is SUCH a last year print!
Burger Girl 2 : She looks hideous!
Burger Girl 4 : Like Oh My God totally!

Another group of girls-The Sleepy Kind.
Sleepy Girl: Yaaawwwwn.
Random Girl: Kesi Ho?
Sleepy Girl? Mey *yawwwn* theek *yawwwn* tum?
Random Girl: Um..

-National Anthem Ends-Sayyai, khudae zul jalal.

Another Group of Girls-Is the teacher present today kind.
Girl No. 1: Yaar did you see the Economics teacher?
Girl No .2 : Noo!
Girl no. 1 :Allah kerey aj na aie hu yaaar!Buhat pakati hein!
Girl No. 2 : aray woh ri tumari Economics ki teacher!!
Girl No. 1 : Shit Yaaar!

-Now the Principal takes the mike and says something about how girls are bunking classes-'Assalamoalikum Girls,I've been recently informed that lots of you have been ...*

Another Group-The swearing words kind.
Mean Bully Girl no.1 : Hey Bi***,whats up?
Mean Bully Girl No. 2 :Nothing,B***h whats up with you?

-The Principal continues-So,please girls,do not bunk your classes,if I hear another word about you people bunking I will ....

Another Group-The Scared,nervous kind-
Nervous Girl No. 1 : *hyperventilates*
Random Girl: Are you okay?You look a little pale?
Neverous Girl No. 1 : *speaks in a barely audible tone* I'm fine.*looks here and there.

-The Principal is still going on about something,now she's talking about how lots of girls are coming so late in the morning.

Another Group-The Gossip/trend Group:
Girl 1 : Aray did you hear about what happended to ABC after her mom found out that she was having an affair!
Girl 2 : Omg no!what happened!
Girl 1 : She took her cell phone!
Girl 2 : Haye beychari!
Girl 1 : I know!!
Girl 3: Hey did you guys hear Beyounces latest song?
Girl 1 : naye yaar,Ramzan hey!
Girl 3: toh kia huwa?

-Principal finally stops.And all of us go and report to our specific classes.

-Take forty one-72 Hours.

How much would that be? 3 days.Exact.
My eldest niece got an essay topic in her school and she had to write an essay about what she would do or she would spend if she got to know that she has only 72 Hours (3days) more to live.

And that got me thinking,how would I spend the last 72 hours of my life. It’s a morbid thought, but still, really if I had to do it, how and what would I do? At first,I thought that maybe I’d spend those 3 days crying over the fact that I have only 72 hours more to go then it is Sayo Nara,World! Then I thought maybe I’d finish off those hours in panic and getting worked up and sad. But no. That’s not it. My last72 hours would be spend some what like this :

DAY 1 : READY!SET!GO!!:Maybe 1 or 2 out of those 72 hours, I’d spend crying because I would really miss my family and friends when I’m not here. But I’m not gonna waste time crying when there are so many things to say and do and so many people to talk to! I’ll start with my family, since they’d be the nearest to communicate ( Time is money here,baby!) I’d tell them what a wonderful family they all have been and I’m very, very fortunate to be a part of them.Then I’d ask them to pray for me and then I would pray a little myself.

With the family done, I’d move on to my friends, I’d send everybody a text message telling them how I have only a few more days to go, I would call up the closer friends and hang out with them a little. We would talk about all the fun times we’ve spent, all the teachers we made fun of, our crazy songs, our acts of randomness-Then I’d ask them to pray for me and then I would pray a little myself.

After I’m not here anymore,I wonder who’d be the lawful owner of all the great stuff I own. So I guess,preparing a will would be the next wise move. Most of my things would and should be given to my sisters and my sister-in-law ( they can decide what they want and what they don’t, but Im guessing my bhabi would like to have my clothes, and my eldest sister would like to have the bags and my shades and maybe my makeup too [that’s pretty much everything :p] my second eldest sister,is such a sweetheart that she’d probably wouldn’t want to take anything and would let everybody else take whatever they want,my jewelry would be taken by my nieces (or thei r mothers,depends lol) and my brother would want to have my camera and that’s pretty much it.He’s not really into shoes and bags and all that )

The rest of the stuff and my remaining pocket money should be donated.To whom,that I leave upto my Parents. After that, I would ask my driver or maybe if my brother is in a good mood to take me to seaview, I’d smell the smell of the beach for the last time,I would feel the sand under my feet for the last time and dip my toes in the water for the last time.And maybe even see the sunset.Later I would eat dip shop ki ice cream. And then return home.Then I would pray a little and try not to cry and go to sleep.

DAY 2 : BREATHE-STILL HAVE 1 MORE DAY LEFT: I would wake up extra early ( remember how time is money?Yeah!) I would pray and watch the sun come up and then start off my day and spend it with my favourite kids(Qandeel,Dua,Arsalah,Bushu and Hiba) We would laugh and play and eat and sing poems ( Wait,before u get the wrong idea,I don’t have a thing for poems,it’s just that these kids,they are really young [except for Qandeel who is a teenager and she doesn’t really do poems] and the rest of them really like singing weird ‘imabarbiegirl’type songs and ‘iloveyouyouloveme’ type poems. And if it makes them happy,I’m up for it. We would take pictures and put them on facebook or just put them some place. Then I’d ask them to pray for me too and then pray a little myself.

I would try reading The Kite Runner and The Twilight Series in just a few hours. I’ll go directly to the good parts and skip the un important ones.Then,maybe I would drop in for a little while at my college too and would meet up with my Teachers and tell them how sorry I am for talking so much in each of their classes,despite their millions of warnings- Later,I would put on my nicest clothes and go out to eat with my family-

Then I would post a blog here.About my second last day.Then later, I would try to listen to as many of my favourite songs I can. I would update my status on fb saying ‘ About to leave forever-Have any last things to say?Don’t waste time and write them here!’ Then I would play GEM SWAP 2 for the last time.I would stalk random people for the last time.Then maybe,if I’m really,really lucky I’d politely request somebody to take me to the Karachi Airport because going there always makes me happy. Then I would come back and pray and then go to sleep.


DAY 3 : NOOOO : My last day here. I would again remind everybody of how wonderful they have been to me throughout these years and if I’ve hurt them,intentionally or unintentionally so,please forgive me and blab la yada yada all the random stuff u usually say before dying. Then I would pray.I would pray a lot this day,considering the fact that today really is my last day.Then maybe I would plant a tree too lol

Afterwards,I would throw a huggee party inviting everybody and we would all talk and talk and laugh and have a good time. It’s my last day so having a good time is key here. Then I would see if anybody could take me for a ride in a Helicopter because I really,really want to sit in one before I die and today is all I have.

After the grand party,I would go into my room, I would write each of my family member and a few of my friends a last note [just one sentence each-time naye hey zaida!] then I would pray,pray for the last time.I would write my last blog thanking how nice everybody has been and how patient everybody has been for keeping up with these lame posts-Then later,I don’t think I’d like to sleep,I would think a little,pray a little more, let go of all my fears, expectations, judgements-everything. I would forgive everybody[Yes,people,focus here is on dying with a light heart!].And hopefully, not notice when my eyes close –Forever.

-Take Forty-Pakistan Zindabad!

Everybody,living in Pakistan would be pretty much aware about the fact that this year we are not celebrating Independence Day-14th August-How can you be celebrating when half of your country is literally under water? But that doesn’t mean that you just sit and complain about what a messed up country it is, and how bad the Government is and how they are not doing anything for anybody. I wish such people would stop blaming others for the problems,out of which,half of them are created by themselves. Don’t these people see the good things happening in our country? Can’t they see the efforts we’re making for providing relief to everybody who’s in trouble now and whoever was in trouble? Don’t we always come through for the people in their hardest times? Don’t we? And if we only plead for help from other Countries too, that doesn’t mean that we can’t do anything ourselves it’s just that the damage is on a really large scale and we need all the help we can.

Pakistan is a wonderful country with some of the most amazing people ever Abdul Sattar Edhi,Dr. Israr,Gullgee,Sadqain,Jehangir Khan,Imran Khan,Naseem Hameed,Arfa Karim,Babar Iqbal,Ali Nawazish,Dr,Affifa Siddiqui,Dr. Abdul Qadir,Shehzad Roy and the list goes on and on.What Im trying to say is that people shouldn’t give up their hopes about Pakistan so easily when so many amazing people have been here and so many young and talented people are coming alone. And are probably here to stay. Some of the people here these days have the same attitude as those who used to say that Pakistan would not be able to last even months ater its creation and look where we are now. Okay,agreed that we hit lots and lots of rough paths over the time, but who said that life had to be all Roses ? And so what our Political leaders are not there for us when we need them the most? At least WE are here for each other. And I would really appreciate if all of us would stop comparing our country and ourselves to other people.Ooh look at China!Such hard working people!Ohh look at them!Ohh look!-China is a great country(and our best friend),no doubt, but we are not China. Ever heard of individuality?

Lets face it.After 63 years we aren’t exactly where we should’ve been and lets face it that the chances of ever getting another Jinnah or an Iqbal to lead us ,are pretty slim. So its really upto us. We ARE Pakistan. We are it. We need to be honest with ourselves and honest about our work,it’s easier said than done, but it’s a start. WE NEED TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP. We can’t let the sacrifices of our forefathers go down the drain like this. We need to unite,we need to stand up. And if we fall again, we need to stand up and join the race again.

I wish all the Pakistani’s who sit and complain would stop and think for a minute about how ungreatful they are being to a country who has given them so much-They say What has Pakistan given us? It’s given you an Identity-A sense of Belonging. I love Pakistan,this is my country and I will never abandon it.Never.Pakistan Zindabad.



P: S I Salute the Pakistani Army who works so hard for us.And I salute the rest of the Pakistani’s too who make Pakistan such a wonderful country.May Allah protect our country from all the bad times and the bad people who want bad things to happen for us. May Allah help us in putting an end to Terrorism and restore peace here once again.A very,very big Ameen.

With faith, discipline and selfless devotion to duty, there is nothing worthwhile that you cannot achieve.
Muhammad Ali Jinnah

-Take Thirty Nine-What makes me happpy!

About a minute ago,I got this grand idea,of writing about what are the things that make me happy.They are quite a few actually.The thing which makes me the most happy is when I see my ghar ka darwaza,after a long,tiring day at college.OMG At that moment,I'm just out of my mind happy!And you know,what makes it even better?IF THE ELECTRICITY IS THERE WHEN I COME BACK FROM COLLEGE!Score!
Another thing,which makes me really happy,is having a good laugh with anybody be it a friend or a family member.Make me laugh and I'll be your friend forever(Either that or give me Oreo's I'll be your friend forever then too :p )I also get really happy when little baby's smile at me-If they don't and they frown at you instead everybody makes fun of you saying 'O dar gaie tumay daikh key [Insert Fake laughter here]'.Hmph.Getting good marks is also another thing to get excited about.Getting good marks at a test for which u were totally UNPREPARED,is even better!
I go looney toon happy when I see cute,furry,cats.I'm not really a movie person,but whenever I do watch a good movie that gets me happy too.A good book,definitely raises my spirits.Listening to Patriotic songs on 14th August or even 23rd March also makes me really happy.My all time fav Pakistani Patriotic ganay aray Terey Bina dil na lagay-Fakhir,Aey Jawan-Awaz,Yey hi Zameen-Vital Signs. :)
Since it's Ramzan tomorrow,(yayy!)waking up really,extra realy for Sehri makes me happy too.I dont know why,but instead of being 'Omg-I can't-wakeup-and-my-eyes-are-totally-glued-together-and-Ima-hit-u-if-u-talk-to-me' person,I'm the exact opposite!I love it when my Neices tell me how much they love me.And I absolutely adore them when they make me hand-made cards saying how much they love me.lol
Basically,what gets me really very,really,really happy is when I'm about to sleep at night,and I think about the entire day-If it's well spent,if I did something good,if I made somebody else happy,then that's really it.With the feeling that God has given me the best of everything,the best of friends,the best of family,literally everything-is one thing that makes me truly happy.

P:S Ramzan Mubarak,everybody! :)

-Take thirty Eight-Promisesss!!

We’ve all had those times where,on impulse,we end up making promises and then if you are an early bird you would start regretting them a day after,or as soon as you realize that maybe,promising that was not one of the wisest decisions of your life.
Like for example,a teacher asks,a room full of students who would volunteer to ‘desgin’ (mostly its drawing and painting stuff but they use the word ‘desgin’ to make it sound more formal)the time table chart for her.And you being the eager bird,shoot your hand up and go’ oooh miss mee!I’d love too!I love drawing flowers and stars!’ But heres the catch,your teacher doesn’t want you to draw stars and flowers,no sireeeee!She wants you to draw THE BUILDING OF YOUR COLLEGE or something equally complicated with lots of angles and lines and angles of definite measurements-
Or another example,two teenagers discover they are in love.Ah,such a wonderful feeling,where everything looks like a dream and everyday is filled with happiness and you consider yourself the luckiest girl/boy ever,when every other romantic film makes u think that the lead couple,is exactly,same to same,not an inch of a differene,exactly like you and your sweetheart.And then,lost in the ashes of time…wait!!whaaaat?!?Sorry,I started writing the lyrics to Inxs ka Afterglow,lovely song,isn’t it?Oh,yes coming back,as I was saying,lost in your fairytale you end up promising things like how you both would marry each other and each other only,how both of you are meant for each other and each other only and how both of you can travel across the world and not find someone as amazing as each other.Aww.
And a year later [Most cases work this way,or if your’e lucky you ACTUALLY do get married to them and keep your promise too,I’m talking about thepeople who don’t make it through] all you can think about how wrong you were to think that you both were the same and even if you die and get a chance to live again,you would never want to marry that person,EVER,and how you were so wrong to think that you both could travel across the world and never find a person like him/her-Across the world?You can find a substitute,and a better one at that,for him in your neighborhood!-Daikha?isi liyey kehtay hein k in fuzool k chakrou mey ni parna chaiyya-This is the inner-I-told-u-so-person-talking :p

So,my point here is that,you should only promise things which u can deliver-which you are sure,that you can do it because when you promise something to somebody,if not much,they do start to expect a little from you and when you do not meet their expectations,it hurts them.I’m not trying to say that you steer yourself away from promising things,completely,but only promise stuff that you know,that you are sure of-rain or shine-that you’ll do them.

Happy Promising !

-Take Thirty Seven-To Go Or Not To Go.

So,yesterday and the day before that,I was burried in my books,notes,papers,journals,registers-Why?Because I had a PSYCHOLOGY GRAND TEST scheduled for TODAY i.e WEDNESDAY.Tuesday was off cuz 'karachi K halaat buhat kahrab thay aur saray talimi idaray band rahay gay'.Finally,yesterday,by 3 in the afternoon,I was done with everything-I was prepared and totally ready to get it over with.SO,next morning i.e TODAY I woke up bright and early only to discover my Mother coming up to me and saying something.Here's a bit of the conversation we had.
Ami : Beyta,aj college jana zarori hey?
Me : Jee,mama aj GRAND TEST HEY PSYCHOLOGY KA warna apko pata hey mujhey koi janay ka shouq ni hey.
Ami : Beyta,bahar halat buhat khrab hein,gariya jala ray hein firing ho ri hey,Abu keh ray hein aj mat jaow.
Me : Ami per meyra test hey aj!I HAVETOHAVETO go.
Ami: Mey keh ri hu na koi janay ki zarorat ni hey ( See,how the pyar bhara 'beyta' disappears)
Me : Lekin Mama I have to go!
Abu : Beyta tumara Board ka paper hey?
Me : Naie abu lekin test toh hey na!
Abu : Toh Miss baad mey ley lein ge,unay ni pata k kiya halaat hei karachi k?
Me : Lekin Abu Te..
Ami Abu (together): Koi zaroorat ni hey janay ki,dobara sou jaow,kal jana!
Me: Ummm...

Then,I took out my cell phone and typed a frantic message about how Im not coming and sent it to all my friends,whom I had texted earlier last night saying THAT I WILL BE COMING.
God.
And now,I'm sitting infront of my laptop while my mind is constantly thinking about How I shouldve gone today and also thinking about what the Teacher will be saying tomorrow.Not only that,I have to REVISE everything I had learnt yesterday.
Good Grief.

Take Thirty Six-Live-Life...Lost.

-So,I will go there tomorrow and buy the shoes I saw there,for Eid.
-I’m really,really tired,lets put this work away for tomorrow.
-Darn it!I missed her call!Oh ,no problem,I’ll call her later!
-My college is opening next Monday.
-My brothers birthday is next week!
-Yeah,the college will open and we’ll immediately have those ‘Grand Tests’ for which I’m absolutely not prepared for at all!It’s okay,I know I’ll come through.
-Have’t met my eldest sister for about a week now!Should definitely make plans for it!
-I woke up late this morning and my Father had already left for his Office,by then,so I really didn’t get a chance to meet and greet him.Oh,I’ll ask how’s he doing in the evening.
-It rained so hard this week.I wonder,if it would rain harder again,next week and the college would be closed for another week or so!
-I shouldn’t have argued with my Mother tonight…I’ll aplologize in the morning,for sure.She’ll understand.
But…what if there is NO tomorrow?What if today,this very moment,was the last chance,life would ever be giving me to mend my self,my mistakes,my character and my life?All these plans,these intentions,what about them? My life…is a continuous series of planning.One plan after the other.Or,if not plans…it’s a continuous series of intentions-The things I intend to do and don’t intend to do. They would be on hold-Forever.
Life is so un reliable.It comes with no money-back gurantees and absolutely no exchange offers and pathetically un reliable.I don’t even know if I’d breathe the next breath or not.I will as long as my Allah wills.But for how long-That I do not know.
No one does.
Day by day,we make so many plans,about doing things,seeing people,meeting people,seeing places,studying things,observing them,attending gatherings,having hopes and dreams of changing the world,thinking of grand ideas to improve our lives-and never,anyone of us,stops to think :Will I get a chance to do what I want to do?Would I even be alive,then?
No,I don’t think anybody thinks like that because that pretty much classifies as a very morbid thought.I mean,not being alive to do what you want to do?Going to a friends place,and never coming back?People would probably make fun of you for thinking like that.Why?
There’s a word for it.
It’s called Hope.

We hope,that we get to do the things we want to,we hope that whatever those things are,we be good at them,we hope to have a safe future,we hope to come back home safely,we hope to land safely,when travelling in an Aeroplane—Yeah,the same Hope, the people on Flight, (AB202) had.

It was a terrible,terrible tragedy which has been haunting me for 3 days now.All I can ever think about is how the people on board would be feeling when they could feel the aeroplane going down knowing that this is it, I keep on thinking how the Pilot must’ve been feeling with Death staring at him right in his face,I keep on thinking how the people must be wishing for another chance at life,I keep on thinking what they were feeling when they could hear each others agonizing screams as the plane crashed into the Margalla Hills.

Another chance,was what they wished for.
Another chance was what they were not given.
Heart Breaking.

And let us not at any cost,forget the people who have lost their loved ones ,people say that they can imagine what they are going through, but personally, I cannot even fathom what they were/are going through. Losing a loved one,is a loss which I do not think,can be compensated with anything else. To think that you would never hear their laughter,you would never see their beautiful faces, you would never be able to tell them how fortunate you are to have them in your life-are some of the worst impossible thoughts in the sea of impossible thoughts.

Life would probably be a little less painful if we knew how to turn back time.

It’s the same.Everytime something tragic happens,you promise yourself that you’d be a better person from now on.You’d try to save and make use of every second you have. But I guess,it’s human nature that none of us remains able to stick to this resolution.But at least, let us make this promise again and TRY to stick to it for as long as we can.
May Allah (SWT) grant Patience,Courage and Strength to the people who have lost their loved ones,in this or any other accident and rest the souls of the departed,in Peace.Ameen.

Man,is indeed blind to the future.Its probably for the good if you don't know what awaits you.If all of us knew what would happen in the future,all of us would be having very little to celebrate.
'There is only one large circle that we march in, around and around, each of us with our own little picture-in front of us-our own little mirage that we think is the future.'
- Lorraine Hansbury

-Take Thirty Five-Rain :x

I love thunderstorms.
I love the smell of rain.
I love clouds.
I love how the trees look after rain.
I love everything about rain.
But what I DON'T like is how PAKISTANI (esp karachi ki barish)RAIN ruins everything else!The roads!The poles!THE ELECTRICITY!When you sit electricity less for an entire day,trust me,nothing,absolutely NOTHING about the rain amuses you.I mean,what is so amusing about mosquitoes and heat and um,darkness?
It's been raining here since yesterday evening.
And surprisingly the light's still here.SO why am I in a grouchy mood?Well,my sister was to come today at our place,but apparently the roads are flooded with water and their car stopped working so they had to go back to their own home instead of coming over at mine!
Hmph.All my plans are ruined.Thanks,rain.Thanks,so much.
On a more serious note,I wonder what the homeless are doing right now?Or who's homes have been destroyed by the rain?Or the ones who have lost their children because an electricity pole fell in the water and the electric current killed the children who were just out enjoying rain?Doesn't anybody think about THAT?Or are we too busy thinking about how super-lovely the weather is and how we should all eat samosa's and pakora's and drink tea?
Its simple.Since,WE are safe in our homes(even if the homes are electricity less) we don't care about the others out there,who are suffering.Oh!I know!Lets all update our fb status's about how lovely the weather is!Who cares about the people out there who are trying to save of whatever they have left from this barish?
Karachi Rains=Disasters.
I know,this post makes me sound like a person who doesn't love Nature and bla bla bla,but no,that's not it.I love Nature (thats different that I can't come with sonnets and poems about it like Wordsworth) but I thought Barish is considered to be a 'Rehmat', a Blessing.
But since when did Blessings start to lead towards destruction and mess?

Take Thirty Four-Childhood-Revisited.

Just earlier today,my sisters were talking about some of the lame things I used to do as a kid.So,I decided to take a trip down the memory lane and re-call all those stupid things which I used to do and say as a kid.I'll be honest about them.And as I recall mentally,I can say that I still do a few of those things.Okay,lets start.

1-I loved drawing on the walls.Not just any drawing,but I liked to draw stars,balloons,houses and Pakistans Flag.And I loved writing BIBI (in urdu) on the wall too,Bibi was what I used to call this woman who used to come to my place in the evening to teach me Quran.I don't know why I used to write her name,but I did.I used to sign my name too.I had REALLY bad hand writing.And after every time I drew something and when I used to get caught,I used to deny it.And then afterwards,it was me,my Mother and her handy-dandy-Imaslapusohard-hands.

2-I love make up.I used to beg my sisters to paint my nails.I remember having this red nail polish,which I not only used to paint my nails but also make tiny dots on my fingers.lol.And it was a treat when my sisters used to do my make-up.I loved the stroke of the blush-on brush on my cheeks.

3-I loved wearing my mothers or my sisters dupatta's and heels.I used to make 'sari's out of my moms dupatta.

4-I had this weird stuff toy which was Pink in color and I named it Piglet.I never used to let it go,until it lost one of its eye-buttons and then my mother hid it away someplace,never to be found again (read :She gave it to the maid)

5-One of my sisters had a habit of collecting rubbers(erasers) which were THE coolest things ever!She had erasers in the shapes of penguins,watermelons etc etc and she used to keep them in an air-tight jar,which I always had my eyes on.Eventually,I ended up having most of them,some she gave me herself,some I took myself-lol

6-The same sister also had a plastic snake.It was a cobra and it was green and grey in color.AND OHMYGOD I was scared shitless of that thing.She used to keep it in this sort of cupboard thing we had attached to our bed,and everytime she opened that cupboard to take something out,I used to run like mad cuz I thought she's taking that 'diraoni thing' out.

7-My eldest sister got married when I was just 5 years old.And everytime she used to come to karachi,I used to go to the air port to receive her.Going to the airport was and still is a treat (not necessarily cuz of Mc'Donalds').

8-I always wanted to be a bride.I used to ask my sisters to make me a 'bride'.

9-I used to ask everybody to call me by one of the following nicknames( Simba,Bambi,Gifto,Yummy)

10-My first crush was this weird actor who used to come on PTV called Nabeel.I'm not sure it was a crush,but I was fond of him.The later was Aaron Carter (the bhai of Nick Carter from BackStreet Boys)

11-I loved Potato sticks,chocochum(now cocomo) and Frooto Juice.And does anybody remember those bunties that came attached to plastic sunglasses?and bracelets?And scales?OMG I used to love them too.

12-I loved bicycling like crazy.That and hopscotch.Always wanted to learn skating,but never did,even though my brother-in-law bought me these super pair of skates for my 13th birthday but I hardly ever tried them twice.

13-I LOVED LOVED LOVED cutting my hair.I remember once I wanted to cut my hair into a 'fringe' style,I didn't know it was called a fringe,I just knew the style cuz one of my friends had it.And I have curly hair,but still I cut them into a fringe which actually looked more as if somebody had burnt some hair of that particular place on my head cuz the 'fringe' didn't turn out good so I ended up cutting the whole section of my hair which left a little bald spot just above my forehead-Oh Goody.

14-I had a boy cut till 2nd grade.

15-I wore REALLY BRIGHT COLOR CLOTHINGS(read:neon) and I LOVED frilly frocks.
I loved watching scooby-doo,power puff girls,courage the cowardly dog,johny bravo,dexters lab,Johny quest, etc etc and later I used to tell the entire episode of whichever cartoon I watched to my sister.And she being a sweetheart that she is,listened to them patiently.

16-I loved saying 'Jo kehta hey woe hota hey'.

17-I loved singing Ramzan K rozay aye-hum jhoom jhoom jaye
18-I was in the school choir.


19-I always wanted a Doll House,but never got any :(
Math was my enemy.I remember that slap I got from my sister cuz I did one some of 'sets' wrong.And she'd been teaching me 'sets' for weeks so she expected me to do them right by now,but I got it wrong.

20-I loved playing with my friends and I had quite an awful lot of them.I used to fight with them too and for some VERY STRANGE reason,whenever I got into a fight,one or the other person used to throw a stone at my head.LOL still can't figure out WHY they did that,but they did.I've been hitten thrice by a stone thrown at me by my friends.

21-I loved swinging really high and of course,I've fallen many times from that too.
I got many tetanus shots because my un-stoppable injuries.I wasn't clumsy,I was interested in stunts.I used to jump from a swing when it used to go up,I never used the steps to climb up a slide,I always used to run and climb on it from the front.Also tried walking down the slide...that didn't work out too well.I tripped and went flying in the air.Literally.

22-I loved stickers.Esp the WWF (NOW WWE) stickers which used to come with every KIDDIE WAFER PACK.My and my brother had this entire section of the self where we used to stick them.
I loved ChumpaChumps Lollipops.
I loved Sesame street dubbed in Urdu,it used to come on PTV 4:30 PM and I still remember this weird song they had about a yellow duck which went something like 'peeli hey batakh,peeli peeli hey batakh'

23-I LOVEEED playing hide and seek.
I loved signing my Moms signature.I did them once on a Monthly Test reportcard,I was caught (duh) by my Mother or my Sister--I can't remember who it was.

24-At every Parent-Teacher Conference my teachers used to complain about how I was SUCH A TALKATIVE CHILD.

25-I was crazy about this game,BARBIE SUPER MODEL it was in Saga 91 Cd.It was amazing.I used to play it everyday,until my brother killed a mosquito using that cd and afterwards it never worked.

26-I loved making Moustaches and black moles and beards on pretty cover girls.Jealous,maybe?lol

27--I used to save the calculators which didn't work and later used them as phones.OMG.

28-I had an entire class of imaginary students.
29-I loved playing kitchen kitchen.

30-I loved arranging marriages for my Barbie Dolls with Stuffed Bears.I used to invite other household members to attend the wedding-I used to serve water and biscuits to them.I USED TO FORCE my Mother for stitching clothes for my barbie dolls.

31-Then came a time when I started memorizing lyrics to songs.I even learnt Eminem's lose yourself-even though I did not understand a word he was saying and even though it was rated PG but who cares lol

32-Probably the biggest mistake of my life was to watch the movie ANACONDA-I was in fourth grade and I saw that movie at my neighbors-it took my sleep,my happiness and my peace-altogether.I was so scared of that HUGE ENORMOUS UGLY SNAKE that I thought the snake would come out of the drain in the bathroom.I was really paranoid.

That's it for now.I'll keep editing this if I recall something else!

-Take Thirty Three-I canna' see!!

Take Thirty Three-I canna' see!!
2 and a half nights ago,I was about to go to bed,and before going to bed I ALWAYS make sure that I've switched on the alarm on my cell phone AND the alarm-alarm clock for tomorrow morning,so after checking both the things,I kept them on the side table,next to my bed,then I went and switched off the lights.
I can't/won't/don't sleep until or unless there's complete darkness in the room.Anyway,after switching off the lights,I retreated to my bed and just as I was about to lie down,I wanted to check AGAIN wether I had set the alarm on my cell phone or not.Okay,since I couldn't really SEE cuz of the darkness,I was groping for the cell phone on the side table like a Mole.Well,not really a Mole,but the situation was much alike,since Moles are blind too and they grope for things,er,insects,so here I was,in the darkness,trying to locate my cell phone after 4-5 minutes of continuous groping in thin air,I couldn't find my cell phone.
Exasperated,I stood up and switched on the lights,just to see the cell phone lying on the floor.
Good Grief.
While,I was tryna find my cell phone in the darkness,and after being unsuccessful at it,I imagined how hard life would be for a Blind person.I had an easy way out,can't find the phone,okay,lets switch on the lights,but a Blind person,wether light or no light,cannot see.How tough it must be for him.
Not that it's any easier for the deaf or dumb.
But still.
I'm glad,I can see.
I'm glad,I can see the sun,and the moon,the stars the sky,the faces,the shapes,the colors,the rainbows,the everything.

-Take thirty Two-Say What?

Okay,now since when did people become so immature and insecure and so donwright superficial that they won't talk to people themselves unless that person texts them him/herself and if they text you themselves thats a way of letting them know,that they miss you? And if they type 'k' they are actually trying to tell you that either they are pissed off at something,or they are pissed of at you?What if the person is actually busy,and is in the middle of some crisis and he could only manage a single syllable response!But noooooo, a 'k' is a brutal response, all 'k-ers' out there,should be hanged.
Oh.My.God.
I guess,the thing with all of us,is that each and everyone of us,expects a lot from the other person,but expecting something as silly as a text message first from the other person,or else you won't talk to them,EVER-is that a little too much?
These days,facebook,has a page for everything and I mean,EVERYTHING,from how everybody's life is messed up,how everybody has have had those times where nothing seems to be going on well,nobody seems to understand you,how everybody has been hurt by somebody,how everybody thinks that they care too much,and the other person doesn't give a damn about it,how everybody thinks that they are being ignored while they are always there for others,how everybody has had those people in their lives,for whom they keep on doing so much,and yet they never appreciate their efforts. (And our idea of doing 'so much' is to be the first one to text/call)
My question : if EVERYBODY is being HURT.or going UN-NOTICED,or being IGNORED by somebody else (who is also a part of everybody)then who are we going to put the blame on?Who will be that mean person who doesn't understand us,who doesn't care for us,who ignores us,who doesn't miss us?While,we,(we are also part of 'everybody') are the epitome of Niceness?
This world would be such a better place,if EVERYBODY was honest about their work,themselves, made an effort to understand each other,but we don't have time for that,now,do we?But!We DO have time to make pages and groups on social sites with the purpose of gathering all 'k-haters' on one platform.
It is okay to be depressed a little now and then,it is okay to think that this world with its people is out to get you and it is okay to think that your life is one endless episode of Survivor or LOST after another,but it shouldn't be the only sole meaning of your life.Are you that shallow that your mood would totally get ruined and the world would end if you do not get a call from your boyfriend or maybe,even a friend?If you are that oblivious to such things,then,seriously,you are wasting your time.
There are people out there who would give up the world to be in your ugly shoes,so think before you say how unlucky and miserable you are,and concentrate on the good things in your life.Good life,does not mean that you wear a gold ring on every finger ( even your toes!)or you sail to West Indies in a private yacht,while you sit and flip through pages of COSMO and sip lemonade, it is actually the little things which you don't even realize that you have,which other people do not.
Time to reflect a little.
Time to straighten up your priorities.