Thursday, September 30, 2010

-Take Fifty- Nursery Rhymes Gone Wrong.

We all remember them. How can we forget? We all memorized them by heart, regardless of the fact whether we understood them or not. But now that I’m all grown up and stuff , I realize that if we had some sense back then, we would be questioning all the poems. Don’t understand? Read along and maybe, you will.

Exhibit A : Ba Ba Black Sheep,Have You Any Wool?Yes Sir,Yes Sir, Three Bags Full. One For My Master, One for the Dame and One for the Little Boy Who Lives down the Lane.

Sheep can talk? Ba Ba Black Sheep is obviously the name of the Sheep here. It is the one answering all the wooly questions. I think the Sheep must be just saying Bah Bah-Like you know, the common sheep language, I think it is the Boy or the Man (supposedly the Farmer. Could be a business man too. Or maybe a Tailor.) who is apparently an expert at understanding sheep talk. Neat!

Exhibit B : Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.How I wonder what you are? Up above the World so high,like a Diamond in the sky.

I’m pretty sure, that this particular poem was written by a Female. Why do I say that? Well,she see’s Diamonds, when she looks at the stars. Diamonds. Diamonds. Diamonds.

Exhibit C : Old Mc Donald had a farm, Eeya Eeya Yo. And on the Farm he had some Cows.Eya Eya Yo. And a Mo Mo there and a Mo Mo here. There Mo, Here Mo. Everywhere Mo Mo. ( Insert different animals everytime you sing this poem eg Goats, Horse, Chicken,Ducks etc etc)

Old Mc Donald really liked farming. I’m willing to bet he was very rich, I mean look at all the animals he has on his farm. One word. Farmville. If Old Mc Donald had access to computer, on his farm ( I’m not sure,computers even existed at that time) and if he had a Facebook account, he’d be the Undisputed Lord of Farmville with a kazillion neighbors all willing to ploug his land for him, collect the chicken eggs, sprinkle fertilizers on his crops. Etc. Etc.

Exhibit D : Mary had a little lamb, little lamb,little lamb, Mary had a little Lamb, its fleece was white as snow. Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went, Everywhere that mary went, The Lamb was sure to go. It followed her to school one day, school one day, school one day. It followed her to school one day. Which was against the rules. It made the children laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play, it made the children laugh and play to see a Lamb at school.

Mary was probably a bad student. You know, not doing her homework on time,skipping classes, getting really bad grades, telling lies to her teachers, stealing lunch money from other kids-I mean, why else would she bring a Lamb to school and distract the other children? What an evil plot! And I’m pretty sure the Lamb suffered from low self esteem-with all the children pointing and laughing at him. Poor Little thing.

Exhibit E : Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the Kings Horses and all the Kings Men, could not put Humpty together again!

For those of you who remember Mr. H Dumpty’s picture, he was drawn like an egg-shell. Like his face was like an egg shell with two legs, and if he fell from a wall and the King’s Men tried putting him together, I’m guessing the King’s Men were pretty stupid, trying to fix an egg shell! What the? And Horses? How are Horses going to help put the Egg Shell Pieces back? Why didn’t the King just come down at the place where this accident took place and insert a NEW EGG SHELL instead of the broken one?

Exhibit F : Itsy Bitsy Spider, climbed up the water spout, down came the rain and washed the spider out, Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Now, Imagine if you were Itsy Bitsy. First,you put in all this extra effort in climbing the spout and this rain comes and washes you down. You are again where you started from.
Itsy Bitsy+Hard Work+Climbing +Rain Comes+Itsy bisty going down= Angry Spider.
Itsy Bitsy+Waiting for the sun to come out and dry all the rain+ Still waiting+ Waiting+ Yawning= All this waiting makes Itsy more angry.
Itsy Bitsy+ Finally Sun comes out+ Dries up all the rain+Climbing again+Putting in effort again= Angry and Tired Itsy Bitsy.

Exhibit G : Row, Row, Row your boat,Gently down the stream. Merily, Merily ,Merily, Merily Life is but a dream.

This one has to be the most philosophical poem ever. Life is but a dream. Imagine. You going through all the bitterness of life and one day you wake up and realize, Good Lord! It was just a dream! I should have just rowed my boat instead. Hmm.


Anonymous said...

my dear dear girl .....this is the best now if i sing any poem with my students ill first analyze that no sheep or spider or who ever got hurt in the process hahhahah gud job u
Aisha baji

-Yumna S Hayat said...

Thankyou,ur comments cheer me up like anything! :D

Anonymous said...

i kinda miss blogging... you've improved , its more fun now reading your posts... =D

summer said...

:) the Mary's Lamb didnt have low self-esteem he was actually suffering from superiority complex like how many LAMBIES go to school anyway and with that kind of attention (all the children laughed and played with him) made him feel like a hero dont feel sorry for him dearie..
the itsy bitsy spider tells us about *Perseverance* he wasnt angry the stubborn spidy was just too determined to let go..
this post was an eye opener regarding oldMac hmmm im sure now the tax collectors would be after him and they always paint such a poor pic of the guy with tatterred overalls with patches and torn shoes.. what lies they tell us

-Yumna S Hayat said...

hahahahahha Old Mc Donald was just an OLD POSER,trying to get more sympathy so that he could be donated more money so he could buy more farm animals!THE HORRROR!
Thanks Jaudat :) I really think you start blogging again too!