Sunday, March 23, 2014

How to Survive Bad Teachers.



                   Teachers can teach you a lot. (Good one, Y!), but not every teacher is a good teacher.  However, I should give credit where it’s due; while some teachers may not be good at teaching, they are good at a lot of other things like:

  • Sucking the life out of you.
  • Belittling your goals and ambitions, crushing your dreams etc.
  • Giving fake reality checks.
  • Using you as a scapegoat for their problems.
  • Embarrassing you.               
  • Associating things with you, which aren’t exactly true, like they may say you are a ‘girl who disturbs the entire class’, when in reality, all you are, is a social butterfly.

                   If you are a student, or have remained a student, you will agree that while some teachers are wonderful human beings, they cannot teach. And then some teachers are neither good teachers, nor wonderful human beings. I realize that at this point, I actually sound like a bitter, old, bald man who shakes his fists at other people, every time they breathe, while uttering incoherent speech...I am.

             Anyway, if this semester, you have a teacher who makes you want to give up your existence here and migrate to Jupiter, here are a few things you can do to remain on Earth, only:

The Imaginary Shrug:

What are two things that are misinterpreted most of the time? That’s right, ‘honesty’ and ‘healthy criticism’. If you feel a teacher is being unnecessarily rude to you, you can do the following things:
Cry.

Run.

Cry while running.

Or just shrug it off. Not just for teachers, but the imaginary shrug can be a great tool for not having to deal with any negativity (or negative people) at all. Don’t like what someone just said about you? That’s OK, SHRUG IT OFF!

Talk the Talk:

What’s 10 times better than a talkative student? A talkative teacher! Get your teacher talking by initiating a conversation (you mean well). Though, it can get annoying, but the class will end and so will your torture annndddd your confidence will stay intact, too. Best of all, the teacher will be so busy talking, you won't get any work! At least, till another class.

Fake a Learning Disability:

The next time a teacher has a problem with you, your assignments, your grades etc you pull out your basic Ishaan Avasthi (Taare Zameen Par) face and tell her that you try your best but because of DYSGRAPHIA you can’t help yourself.

If she still yells at you, then it’s pretty obvious that your teacher isn’t exactly the most eligible candidate for the Nobel Prize for Kindness.

Develop a Reinforcing Strategy:

What You Will Need: Friend who has limitless supply of chocolate.

Get one of your friends to give you a piece of chocolate, every time, you make it through one of your AWESOME teacher’s class, alive.


                      You can’t get ‘rid’ of a teacher. Hence, feel free to try one of these extra handy (risky) tips to make the class go faster:

Mentally play Eye of the Tiger. In fact, this should be the background score of all your classes which you dislike. It will keep you from going to sleep. Also, it’s a great song.

Try to fill in your teacher’s shoes and come up with random assumptions as to why he/she acts the way he/she acts. It’s a fun topic esp. for group discussions.

Pretend to be taking notes in your journal, while you’re actually doodling. (Students who sit in the first few rows of a classroom, should not attempt this)

Laugh and get thrown out of the class. (not too sure about this one)

Ask to be excused for a bathroom break; don’t come back.

Come late to class, if asked why, make up a story of how you were cornered by adoring fans/ or abducted by aliens/ or fell from the stairs (fake a limp for this one).


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As a teacher I can use some tips from the blog.....n next time if my senior will lecture me I'll play eye of the tiger n when given duty I'll limp into the office n tel that I've been abducted by aliens.......ur sis Aisha Alam