Sunday, June 22, 2014

How to Survive Power Outages: Looking at the Brighter Side of Things.

While for the rest of the world, summers mean surf, sand and tans; for Pakistanis, it means three things and three things only: Mangoes, Load Shedding and Mosquitoes.

Ironically, while I write about power outages, there is no electricity at my place, either. I’m sitting in my balcony, thanking the Lord that my laptop’s fully charged and trying very hard not to listen to the banter of the drivers which are standing not very far. They seem to be laughing at something; I just hope it’s not me. Anyway, moving on to the main part of this post, read on to know how you can survive power outages while keeping your cool.

Sweat is Just Fat Crying:
Sweat is weakness leaving your body. Or at least, that’s what Google says. Who needs to go to a bloody Sauna room, when you can just sweat from the comfort of your own, really hot, extremely humid room? A simple and great way to burn calories. Dr. Oz should totally do a study on how many calories can people burn during a 2-4 hour load shedding session.

 Bad Romance:
I love reading. But when there’s no light, I do not read books, I read magazines. Akhbar-e-Jahan is very entertaining. I like reading Teen Aurtein Teen Kahaniyaan and then think about  my exceedingly good looking, nonexistent, distant cousin, who falls in love with me, just to get married to someone else, go off to a foreign land, get a life, get a job, never to think about me again. :’(
 Sense of Sportsmanship:
 Plan out fun activities, like killing mosquitoes and turn it into a tournament. 20 bonus points for those risk takers, those khatrou kay khilaadis who may dare to kill a spider or two, as well. Person with the lowest score will fan everyone with the hand-held fan, for 15 minutes.

Putting an End to Sibling Rivalries:
Since, you’ll be spending a considerable amount of time with your family, who are your ‘dukh dard aur garmi kay saathi’, it’s also an excellent way to get to know your siblings and discover that they are actually quite decent human beings…until you start playing games like Badshah Wazeer Chor Sipahi only to find out that your brother has been giving himself extra points. Cheater. Always knew he's the black sheep of the family.

Tune In to the Radio:
If your cell phone is charged, listening to the radio is also a great solution to kill time, when there’s no electricity. I totally love radio shows, especially if they happen to play all my favorite songs. You may not like those late night shows, where people call in to talk about how life has lost all its glory, ever since that special someone left them, but here’s the catch; listening to other people whine and complain about life in its full insane unpredictability, may leave you thinking that you’ve had it pretty good.

Other Simple Things to Do:

Make lemonade.

Drink lemonade.

Maybe, even put up a stall and sell lemonade, too? Donald Trump would be proud.

Sprinkle prickly heat powder on yourself, on the chair, on the ground---everywhere. Be generous.

Eat ice cubes.

Consider storing a 3 month supply of Jet Spots. Seriously, you can never have enough Jet Spots.


Hadia said...

Loving your positive and "cool" outlook on this rather hot topic!

Anonymous said...


mushtaq asghar said...

liked the last ideas so entertaining. by the way a nice and cool try. it was fun reading u in load shedding.