Since it’s the Holy Month of Ramazan, I was hoping I’d do a blog on some fun ways in avoiding one of the overly-done sins : Backbiting. Gheebat and earn some massive REWARD POINTS for myself!! YAY! After all, it is Ramazan, you can’t fault me for not wanting those extra-naiki points!
HOW TO AVOID BEING A BACKBITER :
• Every person has flaws, you have them too. Would you want other people to talk bad about you with other people? Naie na? Phir ap b mat kero.
• Everytime you feel as if your friend is getting on your nerves and you just want to diss about them…DON’T! Stop,even if you are in midsentence like for eg : XYZ is such a meanie,I don’t think she realizes but she comes across as such a selfish, rude … *gheebat*gheebat* STOP!
• I’m a Psychology student so I’m all for letting your feelings out, if someone is driving you nuts, don’t crack them, instead write about it, or say all those ugly things loudly ALONE. Makes you feel so much better. Catharsis, works like a Charm.
• Next time you have the urge to backbite, think about Sheep. Well,if they can put you to sleep, they sure as hell can bore you out of back biting.
• Think about the good things about that person, the good things he/she has done for you and you’ll realize that this person doesn’t deserve to be talked about like this.
• You think backbiting will get you the attention of your friends and make you the ‘jaan’ of your group? No. There are other ways of getting attention as well. Try setting your hair on fire…or something less extreme…like saying nice things about others?
• People who talk a lot, like myself, often just go on and on and on and don’t realize that they are actually dissing other people. Like I said, even if the realization sets in later that you are backbiting,stop IMMEDIATELY.
• Make up great slogans in your mind against backbiting like um.. ‘Backbiter,Backbiter, your pants are on fire and you might just end up IN fire’ and keep rehearsing them in your mind.
Normally when we commit a sin, we repent and we are forgiven. But this is not true for back biting, Allah does not forgive the one who backbites unless he seeks forgiveness of that person, whom he has been backbiting about. And it’s not something to be proud of, we all tend to back bite about others at some point and we do it without realizing it so if we go back down the memory lane and come up with all those people about whom we have said I-bit-into-a-lemon-therefore-I’m-a-bitterperson-saying-bitter things- the list would be endless, and we aren’t even in contact with some of them anymore, I mean facebook is an option, but how many times have we inboxed someone saying ‘ Listen,I have said pretty mean things about you behind your back and I hope that you forgive me because I did not know any better’ Have we? I don’t think so.
So now what do we do? Here’s a list of what we can do to make-up for all the backbiting we've done:
-Think about those people whom you are in contact and think if you’ve ever said something bad or hurtful about them, apologize FORAN!
- Saying sorry does not make you any less of a person,so just say SORRY!
- I asked one of my friends how to apologize to someone who is not there anymore ( this also goes for all those people with whom you’ve lost contact) so she said, then you can give sadqa with a neeyat that that person may forgive you, if Allah wills. Pretty neat ,huh? Note: As it is said that Back biting will not be forgiven unless you seek forgiveness of that person whom you back bited about, so I have to check if this Sadqa works for this or not? Even if it doesn't, Sadqa can and DOES get you reward points. It's a win win situation.
Okay, Gossip Queens avoid this terrible sin while you still can. Stay Blessed and Happy Ramzaaan