This is a post,I had written about the notoriously boring morning assemblies which STILL are held at my college,EVERYDAY at 7:45 AM S-H-A-R-P. But this post, I had written from a student’s point of view, where my job was to just stand there stupid and notice other stupid people.
One year later, I’m in the Student’s Council and NOW MY JOB IS TO MAKE ALL THE STUDENTS ASSEMBLE IN PROPER LINES. Sounds easy? NOT. Now I will write about the various encounters I have while ‘requesting’ sometimes, urging,pleading,begging students to get in line.
THE DEAF STUDENTS:
Me: Yaar line bana lo please.
The Deaf Students: ‘Haan phir usney yey kaha toh meiney kaha k usnay yey kyu kaha…’ –Yaar line bana lo- ‘ Han toh phir hum Movie daikhnay gaie itnaaa rush tha kay tumari souch hay’ –Yaar lineee uhh nevermind.
THE SMILING YET STILL NOT GETTING IN THE LINE STUDENTS:
Me : Yaar line mey lag jaow
Them: *standing in one position and smiling*
Me: Yaar line mey lag jaow.
Them: They slightly move,giving me the illusion that they are going and will now join the lines, I move forward and turn back to find them standing still.And still smiling. Oh God.
THE ACHA-BACHA’S :
Me : Line?
The Acha-Bacha’s : Chalo yaar line bana laitay hein.
MY OWN FRIENDS:
Me: Yaar tum loug toh line mey lag jaow at least.
Them:’ Lagay way toh hein ‘ and they say this while standing in a circle. Umm J
THE WE ARE TO COOL TO STAND IN THE FIRST ROW ONES:
Me: Could you please join this line? The bell has rung.
Them: They look at me,move towards the lines and then stop. And make a line of their own faaaaaaaaaaaaar from where all the other lines are made.
THE I’M EXCUSED WALAY STUDENTS:
Them: ‘Who actually na merey paou pey chout lagi v hay’ pointing towards a perfectly pedicured foot in very pyaray chappals ‘toh mey line mey itni dair khari naie hosakti toh mey bench pey baithu gi’
THE STUDENTS WHO FORGET TO GET IN THE LINES:
Me :Line please!
Them: Han jatay hein.
Me: After a few minutes ‘Yaar meiney abhi apko bola line bana nay ka’
Them: Tsk (annoyed noises) Ja ray hein bhai.
Me: ‘Hur’ –And then Miss President walks in and gives them a scolding and they hurry up-YAYY MISS TEE!
And sometimes, we have to make the morning announcements and the funniest part is that you get up on this little stage,the college admin.has set up, and you open your mouth to announce,whatever it is that needs to be announced, and all you see is a sea of vacant-empty-sleepy eyes staring back at you,in your face. And sometimes, we have to make sure that the students don’t wear colored socks ( don’t ask) they are only allowed to wear white ones. And we have to deal with the dumbest most argumentative of the girls who will argue for about a good half of the first period that how their socks are not COMPLETELY colored, because they have two ‘white’ stripes in them.